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It could be so easy

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Well-Known Member
I have been waiting for tonight for so long but now it is here I am lost
I have been feeling suicidal for so long and noone listens or help - I just paint on that smile and try to keep going
My son has gone to Edinburgh for a week, my daughter has gone on holiday with her friend for 2 weeks and my other daughter wont be home until after the weekend
I am home alone and there is mischief in my head
Last night I had a nightmare and ended up being woken up on the kitchen floor this morning with a long shard of glass in my hand. I had also been in the garage at some point xxxxx
I can't remember doing any of that or being in the kitchen but tonight I am on my own and everything is suddenly there and accessible
I came home from dropping my daughter off and walked in the house and cried - I see their faces
I really want to end my life but I dont want to hurt my children. They have their own lives now and have proved that they dont need me anymore
I hurt so much and my past haunts me - I am lonely and sad
My head screams 'DO IT' but my heart says 'no'
Am just frightened that if I have a nightmare and get impulsive tonight then I will not make it
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total eclipse

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
YOUR CHILDREN will always need you hun always Please if you donot feel well you call someone crisis line go to hospital Do not harm your children hun You do not want their lives to be shattered If you do not feel safe then you call someone now hun and go to get help hugs
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