I try to do what I am told. People say "fake it till you make it". I do not even feel like I am faking it anymore. Well unless I am faking the being happy with life part. I am not talking to anyone outside of work. I am still tense and anxious around everyone who is a stranger to me. Worse of all I have not spoken to any females this week. So the only thing that I am faking is pretending to be happy. However, that is like my work outs. My brain is getting burned out. I am forcing myself to smile laugh, pretend everything is ok. Pretend like I do not have a care in the world. Like I have made a happy life for me. I do that and it is like sprinting or burning out a muscle group. :blub: it is exhausting, and I do not know if I am making any progress. I am tired, and exhausted from all this emotional faking. However, I know that letting my depression flow over all the work I have done will do nothing for me. It will wreck everything I do. Like how I wrecked my Spinning class exercise by having Wendy's. It is so hard to emotionally recharge when you do not have anyone you can really emotionally attache too. :depressed: well lets see if I can make it through the 9 hours of work I have to do without causing too much trouble.