It Crashes Down Around Me

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Forgotten_Man, Jun 25, 2010.

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  1. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    I try to do what I am told. People say "fake it till you make it". I do not even feel like I am faking it anymore. Well unless I am faking the being happy with life part. I am not talking to anyone outside of work. I am still tense and anxious around everyone who is a stranger to me. Worse of all I have not spoken to any females this week. So the only thing that I am faking is pretending to be happy. However, that is like my work outs. My brain is getting burned out. I am forcing myself to smile laugh, pretend everything is ok. Pretend like I do not have a care in the world. Like I have made a happy life for me. I do that and it is like sprinting or burning out a muscle group. :blub: it is exhausting, and I do not know if I am making any progress.

    I am tired, and exhausted from all this emotional faking. However, I know that letting my depression flow over all the work I have done will do nothing for me. It will wreck everything I do. Like how I wrecked my Spinning class exercise by having Wendy's. It is so hard to emotionally recharge when you do not have anyone you can really emotionally attache too. :depressed: well lets see if I can make it through the 9 hours of work I have to do without causing too much trouble.
     
  2. mandyj101

    mandyj101 Well-Known Member

    Hey forgotten_man..

    Depression has a nasty habbit of creeping up on us :hug:

    Faking it till you make it does sometimes work.. but ultimately i think we need to address the underlying reasons as to why we are depressed.. to truly make a difference.. if that makes sense..

    Here if you want to chat anytime.. im female.. as you know.. so you could cross that one off of your list ;)

    Take care x

     
  3. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    I am trying to address on of the main underlying issues... however that will take another 8 weeks to fully address.

    Sadly I am at work, so I am posting on my phone. :) Thanks for the encouragement. Not to be rude but I meant females in real life, no the net. I pretty much only talk to females on the net... it is weird.

    :hug: thanks for your thoughts. I hope you do not mind me shooting you a PM a little later.
     
  4. mandyj101

    mandyj101 Well-Known Member

    Course i dont mind :smile: look forward to hearing from you.. x
     
  5. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    Hey FM I just came across your thread and wanted to check in on you and see how you are doing today as I really care and want you to know I am here for you..after all you reached out to me too and well we are all in this together right?
    Here if you need me I am here ...love you Bambi
     
  6. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    @Bambi: :hug: I am not as depressed I am hoping getting some food in my stomach will make me feel better. Worked for 13 hours yesterday and basically went home and blacked out from exhaustion.

    I hope you are feeling better today as well.
     
  7. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    You are overworking yourself and it isn't healthy for you mentally or physically. Make sure to take time to eat a good meal and get some sleep so that you don't get exhausted when you're at work. I work many hours some days too, but I try to get rest when I can. :hug:
     
  8. Marty482

    Marty482 Well-Known Member

    Maybe you shouldn't fake it as much as control it. Being "happy or ok" all the time is an extreme and will lead to an extreme. I'm glad you work out . Physical exercise helps alter moods especially aerobics. What is your depression showing you? it is probably an unconcious message of sorts . What parts of your life are out of balence? Depression is an extreme so it is reawcting to an extreme in you or oyur life. I know depression can be physiological too though. Exhaust the physical look at the psychological and tend to the spiritual. Many of us in the West tend to neglect our spiritual lifew and depression could be a wake up call. Please pray when you need help. It has lways helped me.

    Write me if you like,

    Marty
     
  9. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    @Dave_N: Do not worry, I only work more than 8 hours when it is an absolute emergancy. If anything I try to go home early most days. I guess I am exhausted from really only getting 5 or 6 hours of sleep a night.

    @Marty482: My depression is showing me only a few things are out of balance in my life. Namely my heart and bed, that is all I will say. What do you mean by control it.
     
  10. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    Hey FM how you doing today my dear?
    Are you taking anything for the sleep? I take a pill some nights as seems the more tired I am the harder it is for me to sleep... and well you get into a vicious cycle and boom next thing you know it triggers a manic event or a depressive event.
    Let me know how your doing and if I can help in any way.
    Love you B
     
  11. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    @Bambi:No I am not taking anything to help put me to sleep at night. I am trying to make my workouts do that. Some nights it works other nights it doesn't. I found that taking over the counter sleep aids just made it harder to wake up in the morning.
     
  12. Marty482

    Marty482 Well-Known Member

    What I mean by "control it" is that you can't let these moods run your life. Especially at work. So I would try to control the feelings,but not go to the opposite extreme and act like things are great. That's another way of being controlled by the depression or others attitudes towards you etc. Just be the way you feel to the degree that it is socially acceptable. If your down don't go to the extreme of smiling at everyone. Look down. Feel it. But I wouldn't let it interfere with my work life. If others there see your not always happy they will probably relate to you more. I mean by "control it" that you should be as genuine as the circumstances allow. Otherwise you are expending too much energy faking it and you've created another problem. It wouldn't hurt to be distant and down a bit as long as you remain professional. Don't bottle it all up is what I meant.But conversely don't put it all out there either. Does that make sense? Balence is probably the word I should have used. You need to balence the feelings because you seem to go form one extreeme to the other and either way you are a the mercy of your issues. Try not to give in to it or hide it to the degree that you can. That's my guess.I hope that helps!
     
  13. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    @Marty482: I see where you are coming from. I just need to figure out what balance is in regards to my mood.
     
  14. Marty482

    Marty482 Well-Known Member

    I understand what you mean. I hope you find that clarity. Your in my prayers and thoughts. Write if you want!!!!

    Marty
     
  15. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    I am hoping that once Yoga stops being painful it will help give me some clarity. Why is clarity so hard to find?
     
  16. Marty482

    Marty482 Well-Known Member

    I think clarity is hard to find because we get in the way of it and our cinditioning does too. Most of the time we need to peel away things to get to the bottom of them. I think. You sound good,please hang in there!!!!
     
  17. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    I do not know how I feel really... I have been having unusual suicidal urges. Like suicide is another chore on my list of chores. :( god this depression is evil.
     
  18. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    agreed = it's evil

    :hug:
     
  19. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    Lets find the part of my brain that makes me depressed and remove it.
     
  20. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    no. not a good idea.

    it's third on my list :sad:
     
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