I am completely depressed, and just keep getting worse.... I can't believe that despite my best efforts, despite doing my best to make things better, somehow it has all gotten worse... I am completely lonely and desperate, and the fact that nobody cares hurts more than anything... People around me, anywhere I go, think they can just use me and then throw me away when they don't need me, nobody cares about me... nobody cares to invite me anywhere unless it is by mistake... my so called friends usually make plans together, but I am only included if I happen to be within earshot when they are arranging plans and jump into their conversation... it feels like I keep pushing myself into people's lives, because otherwise I don't really exist for anyone. I only exist when someone needs something from me... the moment they are done with it, I might as well be dead for all they care. During lunch or dinner, if I dare get my food first and sit somewhere, they will always end up sitting somewhere else, leaving me alone unless they don't have any other option... They few times I have made a comment about this their response was either "no, you are lying" or "whatever...". This wouldn't be as bad if it was the first time, or it hadn't happened with other people before... but the fact I moved thousands of miles away just to end in the same situation is completely demoralizing, i just can't hold myself together any longer. Several times I have had to rush to the closest bathroom just to avoid anyone seeing me crying, sometimes it just hurts too much. My grades have also been dropping and I've been struggling increasingly more with my homework, and since most of the time they won't have time to help me (even though they expect me to help them every time they need it, which I usually do), it has already made my grades take a dip, which makes me feel even worse, and yet nobody notices and if they do, they clearly don't give a shit. I have also been trying to be more active on dating and hook up websites, which I now consider a huge mistake... I seem to be completely forgettable there too... guys won't contact me unless I contact them first, and the way most don't even acknowledge me, they clearly aren't interested one bit, so nobody wants to even chat with me, I guess I am way too ugly or something, most don't even give me a chance. I just... what;s the point of living/? no friends, no love, not even a chance of either... I might as well just die and save everyones time, money and resources... I'm clearly not needed nor wanted.