It doesn't matter how good I am, or if I'm good at something. It doesn't matter how hard I try or if I try at all. The fact that I have to rely on other people, means I will always be stuck. I know I'm not the greatest and there are plenty of people better at things than me but I am generally above average in almost anything I try. But that doesn't mean anything in society. It's more important about who you know, than what you know. Whether you are willing to lie, cheat, steal and fuck over other people. I feel like having actual principles is a fucking hinderance. I can't even play my online shooters because they involve relying on other players and all they care about is their own personal score, not the fucking team. I feel like, while not real life, it represents the mentality I encounter everytime I finally do go out in public. Who cares about anyone else, as long as I get my gratification and I look good. Nevermind the bigger picture or that the other people around me are suffering because they can't do it alone. I will sacrifice myself in a game if it helps the overall picture. Not my teammates though. 80% just sit back and watch the objective, racking up their kills and score. Who cares about winning as long as their stats look good. And if people do play the game, they will use the cheapest and most pathetic tactics. They will exploit any advantage whether it is supposed to be there or is simply a mistake. Who cares if it ruins the experience for everyone else. I may be handicapping myself by living by an actual honour code, but I really don't want to live in this society that is all about ME, ME, ME. The only time these assholes care about someone else is if it benefits them.
Seems that way sometimes to me too, where it's all about others being selfish and all money-oriented, etc. Reminds me of how lots of us kids (myself included) never passed the ball to others during basketball games and focused only on ourselves scoring and showing off. When I get down sometimes, I think of how I'm stupid or inadequate or how no one cares for me or how I'm wasting other people's time and not worthy of being in others' presence. Not all of that is true perhaps, but I get into that line of thinking unfortunately. You care about others and sacrifice things for others, and to me that's a rare quality in today's world. Others like you are out there (similar to the few people who just make enough money to keep a roof over their head and also love others so much), so I hope you find a few like that. In fact, just one would be great. I'm proud of you for sharing this post. Props to you
You're right most people are just egoists. Even worse many people are sociopaths lacking conscience or guilt if someone else gets harmed I don't care about or know personally who cares... Lacking empathy big time.. These people will often lie, falsify reality, cheat, manipulate, use, abuse, even resorting to violence to 'solve problems' and deceive in any way shape or form as long as they aren't personally affected... It's about 'winning at all costs' a sign of a sociopath or an egoist is someone who can never accept any wrong done to them, plotting and putting into action revenge... They're all about 'winning', being right, and the most powerful or superior. It's no wonder Jung says the shadow of Power is Love... Many people pretend to be very moral or "purely good people" their in denial that they have any bad side to themselves, they can't face themselves that the fact their ordinary egoist just like most everyone else.. If you're a believer in http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_egoism Such things as giving to charity are so one can get recognition in society or so they can feel better themselves. In other words everything action is motivated by self involved interest. Although one could be ignorant as to how ones actions may effect another person, as everyone has a very different past and what may cause PTSD for one person may not cause it for another...
