It dosn't get better

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by suicidal maniac, Jun 22, 2007.

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  1. suicidal maniac

    suicidal maniac Well-Known Member

    I get so angry on some days that cutting is the only thing that makes it better. I get so mad, that I talk to myself, I punch things, I broke an old ibook that I just bought used. I just paid $500 for it, a couple of weeks ago, now it's in the garbage. It doesn't get any better. From my experience it only get's worse becasue you stop doing the good thigs you were doing as it is to hard to do now, because of shame, and I end up self medicating with beer and weed. I really wish I were dead. I don't want to talk to anybody, I haven't had any friends for over a year. None, I don't talk to anybody. I always had friends, but this time I don't even have one. All the old ones don't want to talk to me. I fucking feel like hurting somebody real bad. This is the sadest thing I'm 29, and I'm killing myself. And all you people who belive in God, he is me. Is there no cure for the anger? I run, I go to the gym, I don't know what to do. I'm affraid it's going to get out of control.
     
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