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It feels like I'm talking to myself.

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Beka, Feb 11, 2012.

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  1. Beka

    Beka Well-Known Member

    It's been a couple months since I've been on here.

    I've been able to get some perspective on things. I made some awesome friends, I went to sixth form, got some good grades, I have 2 jobs now and I got so much better. I've been helping people in the local youth group with their problems, helping them to gain some perspective on things and to see that people do care.

    Never, ever did I think that I could go back down into that dark hole again. In general teenage terms, this sucks.

    I just want to sit here and cry. It doesn't get better, it just gets pushed back all the time till it breaks me. I don't know why. I can't talk to anyone, I just can't bring myself to open my mouth and speak up, whether they are a professional, my friends, my family or people I don't know. Hatred is flowing through my veins for myself, I'm lying to myself, it feels like I'm going insane.

    It feels like I'm back at the bottom again, I can't get back up either.
  2. yoyo79

    yoyo79 Banned Member

    I'm not too good with words but I just wanna say your not talking to yourself, people are listening-here people read you got back up once and just believe it that you can do it again even if it doesn;t feel like it when you're crumbling.
    I'm so sorry you're feeling so bad & Thinking of you
  3. Matka

    Matka Member

    Hello Beka

    I think your assessment as to why you feel like your back in the hole again, is because you did push back the issues that you got you there. All the great stuff you have been doing allowed you to perhaps forget the stuff that needs to be dealt with. I'm not sure what that is, but may be you can try writing it down on paper and reading it back to yourself sometime later. that may help give you a perspective of what your feeling. I hope you can look up and see the light again.
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