It feels so great to know the end is close (Warning: VERY TRIGGERING))

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Summer.Rain, Jul 8, 2008.

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  1. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    Yesturday i made a plan on how to end my life, it is a simple plan, yet very efficiant!
    On the 30s of July (this month) im going to <Mod Edit: Methods>

    I tryed so hard, for many yers, to fight! I straggeld to beliave that there is hope
    I searched all over the internet, and watched movies about life
    yet all i found was more and more pain and suffering!
    There is no hope for me!! I am weak, unaducated and really worthless guy
    if i will die, no one will even notice, no one will really care.
    I know you guys will probbly say "we care" and all this
    but somehow, it dosnt makes me feel better :(

    There is a website where people telling about thair expiriance with many diffrant suicide attempts.
    <Mod Edit Methods>
    if no one will save me in 20 min or so, ill die.

    When i think about it, it makes me feel better, i feel like, at last, the pain is over!
    No more fear, no pain, no suffering, just eternal feeling of reliaf and peace.
    I can almost imagine the bright, warm light! It make me feel so safe!
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 8, 2008
  2. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    I'm sorry you are in pain and suffering but threatening people with saying in 20 minutes you'll die if we don't save you is wrong. Other people are suffering as well as it is a suicide forum. Why not talk things out instead of throwing threats like that out.
    Instead of watching movies about life and deciding it's not worth it why not try living life. Watching movies is living in a fantasy world..they are movies not reailty. Get with reality, live your life than come complain if it's not worth it..mmk
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 8, 2008
  3. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    Did i threaten?... i did not...... i dont ask for help... :dry:
    I just shared my thoughts, and plans...:mellow:

    EDIT: OH GOD.... the original post was edited thats why it looks like i said it...
    damn it... could thay edit it NORMALLY?!?!?
    This thing i said about death in 20 min... it actualy was a part of a short story about what happaning when people hanging themselfs...
    I read somewhere that if no one will save this person.. after 20 min he will die...
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 8, 2008
  4. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    It's a prolife site so all remarks or things thought to be methods will be deleted.
  5. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    Yes but... ehhh...
    geat now i look like an asshole...
  6. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni


    sorry for any trouble caused...i edited out parts of the origional post as it contained methods. what the OP was saying was that the method that they are thinking of using is quick and that when they do it as long as no one finds them in 20 mins they think they will succeed
  7. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    what ever you think ppl here will honestly miss you and be upset that one of our 'family' has gone.

    the ripples of suicide reach far and wide, further than ppl think.
    one of my friends left by suicide on the method you said and now still after 5 years i miss him deeply.

    i know you are in pain, and pain / hurt confuses us into thinking of what we call the easy option, are you sure you want to do this, have you explored all options and avenues of help.

    can you give us more time to prehaps understand more and maybe help?
  8. Blueberry

    Blueberry Active Member

    I'm a survivor of suicide -- my mom killed herself.

    If you think no one will hardly notice -- you're sadly mistaken.

    Suicide devastates those who experience it -- just look at downunder's posts -- she's struggling to stay alive herself in the wake of her child's suicide.

    Suicide is inherently irrational -- I've been very suicidal, but with the help of medication, my suicidal thoughts have vanished.

    Yes, suicidal thoughts can completely go away. The feeling of depair, that the earth is a dark place -- those can completely dissapear.

    I'm on Depakote now, and I have no suicidal thoughts or feelings. You owe it to yourself and those who know you to try medication therapy before decimating their lives.

    Because, you just might be glad that you did.
  9. janie

    janie Well-Known Member

    Are you sure things will never change? I mean you're only in your 20's, even the most worthless person can get a job of some kind, and with money you can maybe find a cheap place to stay by yourself if you can't stand your family? Ive read some of your threads before and yes i agree things are bad but I don't think they are comlpetely hopeless yet.

    Also from what you've said it sounds like you've got a relatively good idea about being a decent human being- it'd be a shame to let that go to waste especially if where you are that is a rare occurrance
  10. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    Im sorry everyone but this life is not for me
    I have my plan, and i pray i will be able to do it!
  11. BioHomocide

    BioHomocide Well-Known Member

    Could you PM me your plan?
    Your enthusiasm makes me curious.
    It must be an amazing plan.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 9, 2008
  12. suso

    suso Member

    Im interested in your story Summer.Rain, you know, that routine, that zombi life, waking up and see the same faces from ppl that dont understand u, and feel again and again the frustation...and all over again and again, and again........i know that.

    I think is important to create some interest, you like pc games?, maybe you should try some graphic design course, get out and find a interest..dont know, web design, painting, poethry, sometimes if you can turn the sadness u have inside into something like a scupture, a paint, helps,is like to take it out, at least a bit.. i like to draw, someday i guess i will show my drawings :tongue:

    I dont know you, im just a random guy, like all others here, but well, i think ppl is good in nature (only for some exeptions, which are truelly evil), i know, if i fall in middle of a street, there will be always a dude that will help me to stand up...(that already happened to me)

    My first post, yes i tried to help u....try to dont be upset with me, is just, i sometimes talk shit...but i think im not so bad

    Be well
  13. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni

    I don't think you have to be dead to experience a bright, warm light. Try meditation :arms:
  14. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    Hey soso
    im honored to recive your first post on SF, somehow it feels diffrent..
    I can tell you much about my life, and why i am in this destractive situation.
    I know my english is not perfect but im glad people are able to undarstand what im going threw.

    After i spent about 10 years on PC games, i start thinking about why do i find it so intersting, while my freands only had this hobby while thay were teens.
    I think one of the main resons for it, is that fact that games are like drugs
    thay dissconecting you from reallity and the world around you
    filling you with joy and adrenaline, and there are many new people around
    many of which can be your true freands, even if its onlt in the game
    still it feels great, all the help and support and the feeling of community.

    Im unable to take courses of any kind becouse there are minimal requirments
    and i dont have any education records...

    well anyways thx and if you or any one ales here would like to know me better i am always connected to my Messenger:
  15. suso

    suso Member

    Im still a bit shy yet, maybe , someday i will surprise you at the messenger :p

    Dont delete it =P

    Thanks and be well :)
  16. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    What r u so shy about?...
  17. Bagpuss18

    Bagpuss18 Well-Known Member


    Honey you've only just added me on MSN... I want to get the chance to build and create a beautiful friendship with you and I can't do that if you're not here.

    SF is like a family... And we can't carry on if anyone goes missing.

    Honey, please don't put people through losing you.

    If you're so adamant you don't want support, why post on a support site? Exactly! You DO want support deep down. Why did you add me if you don't intend creating a friendship? Don't put me through this honey - I have enough to deal with already. I'll stay alive for you, and you stay alive for me... Deal?

    Somebody said something really good to me the other day...

    "When you commit suicide, you escape, yes, BUT, you pass your pain on to at least ten more people". Being as how you know how bad life can get, why would you want to do that?

    I know it's hard to hang on for other people's sake and I know it's hard to accept when people say they care and you think you're worthless etc. And I know it makes you resent your loved ones more for "keeping you heer", but you WILL come out of this and you WILL be grateful for that honey. But you have to let yourself TRY to fight.

    I love you honey, I'm sorry if i've come across as a little harsh, i'm trying to be as gentle as i can as i know what it's like when someone is bluntly honest when you're feeling so fragile. Yes they're right, but it hurts to an extent you can't handle.

    Don't let me lose a friend i just made. Don't hurt me anymore. I'll hang in here for you.

    Hugs and squeeze-hands


    x x x x

    P.S - if nobody cared and nobody would be upset by your death, then why would i have just said all that honey?

    x x x x
  18. suso

    suso Member

    Im new here...sometimes is easier to be anonymous and share nothing...yet :tongue:, is not that im afraid, dont know if u understand that, still i have nice draws of cats and wolfs ,i have some nature books, i like to take these models and study drawing goats now, montain goats , someday i will post them :tongue:

    Bagpuss18 that was beautiful :), i whish i would be more open-hearted
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 9, 2008
  19. Bagpuss18

    Bagpuss18 Well-Known Member


    don't do it
    please don't do it
    i cant lose you

    honey talk to us
    post on here again
    you're breaking my heart sweetie

    hang in there chick


    x x x x
  20. Mightbehere

    Mightbehere Well-Known Member

    Um Summer rain is a guy not a girl Bagpuss18.
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