Every waking moment of the day, I am reminded of my desperate situation and want nothing more than to go back to sleep and never wake up. But for some reason, when darkness falls, I forget how desperate my situation is, and I actually have to try to remember and enumerate the very real reasons I have during the day for wanting my life to end. So whereas it seems that darkness is depressing for most, there is something strangely comforting about the night for me. In some ways, it's an unwelcome reprieve because some part of me wants to accumulate just enough desperation to do the deed because the daylight waking hours are so excruciating. Does anyone else feel this way?