…and it goes like this… I’m 34 years old, and I am alive…
I feel like everyone around me, from my family, from my job, and also from those who claim to be my friends, they are pushing me into a life style that I never agreed to.
They don’t give me space to have my own life, they are always pushing me down with my dreams, which could be true if only they would be open to others success.
So, day-to-day it happens, more in actions then in straight words, they want to close the door on sight, make me feel like I cannot have my dreams, since my dreams are different.
Everything was fine until they start to see that with my help, they would be fine, but I never needed their help to achieve my goals, so they started to feel offended just because I achieved my goals alone. (after the age of 30 things are a little bit more serious).
And that started about 2 years ago. In the beginning I was with patience, a few months later I already have lost a lot of money, consequently started to fail some personal goals.
About a year ago, I arranged a scheme which I could be somehow free to fight for my dreams without being too high or what ever for them.
It was a question of months… they saw me with a new way to do everything, and because their previous actions were no longer giving results, started to blackmail me, emotional, financial, even offended me with words, just to make me give up my life in favour of they own ideals.
Now they think that everything is under their control, from my family, job colleagues, to my friends. They all think I gave up my dreams (I did).
They think I’m starting to have a life like them, intellectually empty and full-filled with ringtone music, football discussions (soccer), or the manipulated TV news, bla bla…
Resuming: they don’t respect me, I respect them although offended, try to make them see we all are different but still can be friends.
My reward? Being the bad person… the clown, the stupid, the unwanted, the less of the world.
I think people with this attitude are arrogant, and don’t deserve the oxygen they breathe… but they are my family, my colleagues and the people I know through daily life. I can’t kill’em all… but I can kill myself. The end.
I feel like everyone around me, from my family, from my job, and also from those who claim to be my friends, they are pushing me into a life style that I never agreed to.
They don’t give me space to have my own life, they are always pushing me down with my dreams, which could be true if only they would be open to others success.
So, day-to-day it happens, more in actions then in straight words, they want to close the door on sight, make me feel like I cannot have my dreams, since my dreams are different.
Everything was fine until they start to see that with my help, they would be fine, but I never needed their help to achieve my goals, so they started to feel offended just because I achieved my goals alone. (after the age of 30 things are a little bit more serious).
And that started about 2 years ago. In the beginning I was with patience, a few months later I already have lost a lot of money, consequently started to fail some personal goals.
About a year ago, I arranged a scheme which I could be somehow free to fight for my dreams without being too high or what ever for them.
It was a question of months… they saw me with a new way to do everything, and because their previous actions were no longer giving results, started to blackmail me, emotional, financial, even offended me with words, just to make me give up my life in favour of they own ideals.
Now they think that everything is under their control, from my family, job colleagues, to my friends. They all think I gave up my dreams (I did).
They think I’m starting to have a life like them, intellectually empty and full-filled with ringtone music, football discussions (soccer), or the manipulated TV news, bla bla…
Resuming: they don’t respect me, I respect them although offended, try to make them see we all are different but still can be friends.
My reward? Being the bad person… the clown, the stupid, the unwanted, the less of the world.
I think people with this attitude are arrogant, and don’t deserve the oxygen they breathe… but they are my family, my colleagues and the people I know through daily life. I can’t kill’em all… but I can kill myself. The end.
