it happened again

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by cayzira, Nov 24, 2009.

  1. cayzira

    cayzira Well-Known Member

    Why the fuck does she do this. Last night was enough, I really though we might get past tonight without more of the same. It's been nearly everynight since she lost her job, and I've had enough.

    I can't cope with this, I've got enough stress as it is. College are litturally working us to the bone, I'm struggling to stay off the codeine, and this time of year is shit anyway, it just reminds me of the ward, and of what happened to Michelle.

    Why the hell does she do it to herself, everynight? after 18 years I don't care anymore. If she wants to drink then fine, but don't take it out on me and Iain. I'm actually scared of what happens when Iain leaves, all that shit is just going to get transfurred to me, and I can barley deal with whats coming my way as it is.

    the woman is horrid, shes posin, and she ruins everything she touches. I though things were bad when she was with nick, but this is so much worse. 20+ units a night, ever night, should kill you, and I wish it fucking had. anything that ever resembled love or even compassion to that woman is gone, i don't care. she's never treated me proaperly, and she dosen't even fucking rmember it.

    I'm ashamed to know her, and I'm scared I'm going to turn out like her, but there are so many fucking similarities already. I'd never want to treat Susan like this, and i'm scared i will. i don't know what to do, can't deal with her, can't deal with myself, and cant cope with all the other shit.

    from the various drugs I messed around with, I've never seen anything mess anyone up as badly as alcohol does to her. if some was in the ward had kicked off in this way, it' would have been 2mg of lorazopam and then a transfer to meadows. why the hell can people get away with it on the outside.

    Can't this for much longer. wont do this for much longer