It has been enough...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by marjoke, Feb 13, 2012.

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  1. marjoke

    marjoke Account Closed

    Here ends my miserable story...finally...it has been enough...I give up...
     
  2. RonPSH

    RonPSH Banned Member

    Hi Marjoke, what's going on?

    Ron
     
  3. marjoke

    marjoke Account Closed

    Everything is going wrong...and I can't take it anymore...I have no power...no energy left to fight...this life is no life...it has become all so worthless and I won't live like this anymore...it has just been enough...I don't want to go on anymore
     
  4. RonPSH

    RonPSH Banned Member

    I'm bored with life. Are you bored?
     
  5. Crash106

    Crash106 Member

    I hope that if by "I give up," you mean something permanent, that you will reach out in person or over the telephone and get help.

    If you mean to give up trying so hard, keep living and see what happens--I'm right there with ya. There is so much in my own life that I really need to control and just CAN'T. It is hard to accept life as it is and harder still to think things could get better by being willing to accept LESS control, but sometimes that is how it works.

    If it means anything to you that someone else cares, even just cares enough to write back, then know that I wish you the best.
     
  6. marjoke

    marjoke Account Closed

    Thank you for caring and replying on my thread...
    my life has reached the end...
    sorry
     
  7. RonPSH

    RonPSH Banned Member

    Does it feel like no one can see the love and kindness inside you?
     
  8. marjoke

    marjoke Account Closed

    There is no love and kindness left in me...it has all died with my boyfriend and my unborn baby...
     
  9. RonPSH

    RonPSH Banned Member

    share? What happened?
     
  10. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Please on't give up..This will pass..I've been dealing with those feeling for 42 years.. Over the years I have commited suicied three times..You know something the feeling comes and goes.. It's not that easy when you are down..But you can come out the other side.. So please don't give up.. You have your unborn baby to think of..
     
  11. RonPSH

    RonPSH Banned Member

  12. marjoke

    marjoke Account Closed

    why does it hurts so much...especially on a day like this...valentine...the day for lovers...lovesongs and romantic all over...why can't I just be with him...I want to die!!!
     
  13. RonPSH

    RonPSH Banned Member

    Maybe this is pointless to point out...but...

    Since when does a day on the calendar dictate love? And when has "expectations of love" ever helped love? Today is an illusion and most people are going through the motions living up to the expectations of the holiday in order to avoid conflict.

    Love is beyond any attempt by logic to mandate a day of love. Today is a great example of how we've screwed up our minds with ideas and not actually see what's real. Love is everywhere, but it's smothered by these ideas of how life is supposed to be.

    I love you...Ron
     
  14. marjoke

    marjoke Account Closed

    every day was valentinesday to me...but it was to good to be true...
    today is a day like all the others...and it hurts every day...more and more...
     
  15. RonPSH

    RonPSH Banned Member

    Exactly....I hear you...truly I do....

    True love makes everyday a Valentine's Day...and if you can love yourself, then you feel love everyday. When you can share your love with someone else even better.

    So my message is that first one has to grow to self-acceptance, but that is a HUGE feat because it requires a shift from the head to the heart and the culture is based on the head, on logic, on ideas. To make this shift to the heart essentially removes you from society but for the first time you will love you, love life, and love all.

    That's why I can say I love you! I truly do with zero expectations because I am able to share with no need to receive. It took me 44 years to stumble onto the missing piece of this puzzle that kept me in my head.

    From the mind's logic, life makes no sense and isn't worth living. From the heart, this universe including the one inside of us is stunning.

    Rare is the person that takes the journey from the head to the heart...

    :smile-new:
     
  16. marjoke

    marjoke Account Closed

    I can't love myself...nobody can love me...again...it's all over...

    I wish I could think like you...
     
  17. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Hi, Marjoke. I'm so sorry that you're having a really tough time right now. :hug: It seems that you have endured two major sudden losses - your bf and your baby. And I'm sure that the loss of the patient in the oncology department where you worked just made things all come to the surface again, full force.

    Losses need to be grieved and multiple losses can be difficult to deal with - no time to rebuild and refuel before the next one knocks us for a loop.

    Special days like birthdays, anniversaries and holidays can reopen the grief. No one I know is OK with the death of a loved one, no matter how mentally and emotionally together they are. Please do not berate yourself for the sadness and longing that have surfaced today. Just know that your bf would want you to live - and honor his memory (and yourself) by doing just that - living. Maybe you could do something special today to honor him - buy a single flower, light a candle for him?

    Please be safe.
     
  18. RonPSH

    RonPSH Banned Member

    You can and I just sent a PM...thanks, Ron
     
  19. marjoke

    marjoke Account Closed

    .....
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 15, 2012
  20. marjoke

    marjoke Account Closed

    I burn every day a candle for him...he is always in my mind, in my heart, in my whole being
     
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