It has come to this

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by CloudCatching, Jan 9, 2012.

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  1. CloudCatching

    CloudCatching Well-Known Member

    I don't know what to say.

    It feels so weird posting here after so long, but idle time wasted for something to suddenly make everything better hasn't come.

    I have a million mixed emotions, but to put it into words would be a waste of time. I know suicide is an irrational plan, it's an irrational thought, but when you're left with nothing else to do how do you respond? You don't have time to think and when you lack the time you lack the insight.

    I can't handle relationships because I don't understand the proper emotions to feel, I don't know if I'm really feeling what I'm feeling or if I'm just lying to myself so I'm not alone. I don't know how to say no, because I cling to people as if my life depended on it (And it does, the second I'm actually alone that's it.)

    I'm not ready to be an adult, I'm not ready to continue working, continue responsibilities. I can't handle the past and I certainly can't handle the present. I feel so alone and It's hard to tell someone how I'm feeling because I can't describe it. Everything has tugged at me in every which way and I'm just about to be done with everything.

    I just wish I wasn't so weak.
  2. sevendust

    sevendust Active Member

    Hi, completely understand what your sharing. It feels weird for most of us that post here, your not alone. Your not weak, your courageous and strong, seeking help & support. I don't have the answers to your difficulties. Sorry your feeling, so left out. I'm alway's here, if you need a friend, we can work through our obstacles together :hug:
  3. Prinnctopher's Belt

    Prinnctopher's Belt Antiquities Friend SF Supporter

    You aren't alone CC, we're here. I know it's difficult but you're making it somehow where others have quit, and you're strong. Do whatever it takes to keep your hope. Things are going to get much better. :hug:
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