It has taken me a year to admit I'm in too much pain.

It has taken me a year to admit I'm in too much pain to keep working as hard as I have in my career.
Although the pain has been getting progressively worse, meds have allowed me to still do well at work.

I've reached a point where I'd rather slow down than up my meds. Rather than 12hrs, 7 days a week at my desk, I'm now working for only 5-6 hrs, with a day off here and there.

The consequence will be I have to abandon one major contract and take on less here forward. That means less money, but otherwise, I'd never make it to retirement. I've never been a slacker, but here on out, I'm going to be just average. 4 more years and I can retire.

I couldn't deal with the shame of this admission and instead went overboard, then snapped and did something stupid due to the pressure.
I'm ashamed of my mistake, but now finally see what led up to it.

I've screwed myself out of some career opportunities because of it. But realistically, I'm just in too much pain anyhow.

Need a plan to survive 4 more years at work. Some way to stretch out the little bit I still have in me.


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I'm sorry you're in so much pain.

You've made the right decision for YOU. It doesn't mean you're a slacker, if anything it's quite the opposite. By limiting your hours now, you should be able to continue for the next four years rather than burning yourself out in a quarter of that time.

Good for you. It must have been a really hard decision but you've got to take care of you *hug


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I don't feel like not working 7 days a week on 12 hours days is being a "slacker". Maybe you need to work on giving yourself a bit of a break :)
For most of my life, all I've wanted to do is work (research, writing). I have no interest in family, travel, parties, etc.. I only got married out of loneliness in my late 30s and didn't want children.

I'm under contract to write my next book, but I can't do it. I had to use oxycontin to write my last one, and had to finish it in bed. I can't go through that again.

I don't know what is next for me.

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