I've been suicidal for several years, since my mother had passed away when I was younger. I just keep fucking up in my personal life, and this night specifically, I ended up really hurting someone who means a lot to me. I don't want to be here anymore, all I am is a nuisance to my friends and family. I don't contribute anything to society and I have no reason to continue being a waste of space like I have been for the past 7 years. I don't really even know why I decided to type this in a forum to begin with, but I just can't do it anymore. I don't know how, but I want to just finally catch the bus and leave behind what little valuable items I do own to people that can sell them or something. I'm so tired.