it hurts me to see

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by rachypooh, Apr 10, 2007.

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  1. rachypooh

    rachypooh Well-Known Member

    I dont know what happened, I thought I was dealing with it, I hadn't harmed in weeks- almost months. But all of a sudden I did some pretty bad damage, the thing is its different this time.
    This time it hurt me to see I got to that point, I am ashamed to tell anyone around here.

    I just wanna die
  2. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Do you need medical attention? If you do, please seek it out.

    Well done for achieving all that time SI free, that's terrific. Everyone slips up when they are in recovery, it is part of recovery, for everyone. It is about mentality, if you see it as a slip up, then that's what it is, but if you see it as returning, then obviously it is not a slip up.

    Can you give yourself some sort of positive treat for achieving all that length of time with no harming? Try to see the good you have achieved, as opposed to focussing on the negative.

    Hang in there
  3. Zurkhardo

    Zurkhardo Well-Known Member

    SI is a war, not a battle. You will lose some here and there, but ultimately victory is achieved through as many losses and hard-times as 'wins.' You must perservere! Now you have a record to beat!! Get back to trying to quit, prove to this habit that your better, that you can win! Hang in there ok??
  4. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    Hey hun, I know full well what you're talking about. The same thing has happened to me. As already said if you need medical attention then please do obtain it. Your health is the utmost importance.

    It's normal for you to feel like you've let yourself down, and maybe even angry about going back to self harm but try not to let it get you down too much. You slipped up. Going weeks without self harm is really great, and you should be proud of yourself for that. You slipped up this one time but it doesn't mean you NEED to go back to it. You don't NEED to. You managed for a few weeks without it, you can do it again! :hug:

    When you felt the urges to self harm, what did you do to distract yourself?

    You say you're ashamed to tell anyone about it, does anyone already know about your previous self harm? If people know then they will most likely want to hear if you've returned to it, and would rather know than for you to keep this to yourself, and to keep the pain to yourself.

    Take care of yourself.
  5. rachypooh

    rachypooh Well-Known Member

    I didn't need medical attention, but I did seek it anyways.
    The people I am living with know about it now, and they had already picked up in some mood changes in me.
    I am kinda proud of not doing it in so long, but now I just have to start over and work out what I was doing that was so different to stop me from doing it. It's just so much is going on that I sink into my old habits and is scares the crap out of me, almost literally. There is absolutely no way that I want to end up where I was. What am I supposed to do??? Let it suck me in again, that the point I am at now, this fight just seems so worthless because I end up back where I began
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