It hurts more to stop

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by falling_angel, Dec 4, 2008.

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  1. falling_angel

    falling_angel Active Member

    I cut and burn myself. It hurts more when I try to stop then when I'm doing it. I want to stop because I'm getting lots of scars, but it hurts. I talked to a counseler about it, and they told me it was my immagination. They told me to grow up and face the music because nothing could bring my parents back. How can I stop when it makes it worse?
  2. shadowheart

    shadowheart Well-Known Member

    who ever told you that has no idea what they are talking about.
    obviously you hav been through severe emotional distress...and this is ur way of dealing with it....
    you cant just 'snap out of it', you need to work with ur therapist to find other ways that you can deal with ur loss, a way that doesnt cause you permanant damage.
    i found that piercings helped me deal with my loss, and also that, if you hav a reason to stop.....mine was a boyfriend who i hurt very badly every time i cut myself......he inspired me to stop....

    but in the same token, you cant force urself to stop before you are ready, because then you will hav a greater chance of slipping back into it.

    i hope you are feeling better soon, if you ever wanna talk, pm me
  3. falling_angel

    falling_angel Active Member

    I kind of only talk to a therapist like once a month, and that is provided by the school. My brother doesn't like the idea of me going into therapy.

    I really do want to stop, but I don't have anyone to do it for. I had stopped harming myself for a little while when I still had my dog, because she would keep me up all night licking my wounds. I guess I'll just try to think about her the next time I want to hurt myself.
  4. stturtle

    stturtle Member

    Honestly, school therapists, in my opinion have no clue what they're doing when it comes to this kind of stuff. The only thing they really know is bullying, and grades. They aren't necessarly "trained" in what's going on with you.

    The loss of your parents is the biggest you can experience. And just stopping is gonna leave you with no way to cope with that pain.
    When I stopped cutting last year, I found it was helpful to pinch myself whenever I wanted or felt the urge to cut. And eventually I stopped. But I don't know. Didn't last very long. But it did work for a while.

    And if you're religious you can stop for that. Or you can stop for your friends.

    I'm here if you need to talk. -hugs-
  5. falling_angel

    falling_angel Active Member

    I haven't cut since Friday, the day I found my kitten on the roof of our apartment building. I named her Hope, and for some reason I just can't seem to cut (or burn) with her sitting there looking at me.
  6. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    I'm really happy to hear this angel. I'm happy that you're kitten Hope is really helping you. :hug:
  7. blade

    blade Well-Known Member

    i know its addictive hun, trust me, i found ways to distract my self. personly i love art so i draw, i read books. try something new for u not to harm ur self!
  8. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni

    This nearly brought me to tears. It breaks my heart when I hear people talk about how their shrinks say such cold things. "Grow up and face the music." That is up there on the list of one of the most unhelpful, horrid things a shrink might say to a patient. If it's possible to get a new therapist I would as soon as you can.

    To the original part of the post, it makes perfect sense that it would hurt more to not do it than it would to do it. It's like quitting anything. It is painful for quitting smokers not to have a cigarette, to do something else instead. It IS painful now. Whether it's just in your head or not is irrelevant. Fact is, you ARE experiencing pain in quitting, and they need to validate that and help you!

    What you need is a GOOD shrink :laugh:, not one that's going to give you cold, dead advice. One that's going to help you through the process of reducing the frequency of your self harming habits such as cutting/burning. I mean, it sounds like you want to stop. And if you want to, you will. I understand how hard it is. You are really brave. I am proud of you.

    with love xoxo
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