I feel like i am literally going to break into a million pieces, and then the next minute I just want to disappear, drift off to sleep, nothing, absolutely nothing matters, everything goes dark. I feel so lost, so alone, and so desperate. I just cant deal with this anymore. even thinking about another day of this feels like torture. i keep posting here thinking it will help to talk about it, but its not, it just makes me realize how alone i am with this and how hopeless it is.