I am just tired. I don't think there's any other word that can more aptly describe me right now. I'm so tired. of life. of everything. all I want to do is rest. and I'm sick of people telling me what to do to feel better. to be happy. I'm too tired to even want to be happy anymore. Don't they get it? They tell me to just WANT to be happy. I don't want anything anymore. I have absolutely nothing to look forward to in the future. I can't see anything in my future. and i can't see how any of this will change a few years from now. this is just how i am. how i've been. there is no reason to any of this. I am so sick of people patronizing me and telling me to do this or that, when the truth is they don't have much of a clue about what to do about my depression either. I am just so sick and tired I could just die. All I want is to die. to not wake up. to press the reset button. but i can't because i can't do that to my parents. sometimes i almost resent them - for not letting me go. for needing me to stay alive. by protecting them, my pain is their relief. i just don't understand how much longer i have to go through this before i can just go. it hurts too much to exist.