It is a strange feeling

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Tempaccount, Mar 20, 2014.

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  1. Tempaccount

    Tempaccount Active Member

    Just recently i attended the ER for my first attempt. Of course they took me to a psych ward where i spent a week doing group therapy with some stranger people than me. Getting out was a great feeling. First time in one of those and the last. Its a strange feeling knowing that you will be the end of your own life. I have no doubt. The first time was easy for me....the second time wont even need to be thought through all the way. The question is when? Next time i break down? Next time i cant take life? Maybe ill burn myself at work tomorrow and that will be my life quitting point... Time isnt mu friend and niether is hope. I cant do this anymore. Everyday as dreadful as the last. Im sick of deal with it. I just dont know how to tell everyone bye, maybe i shouldnt. Maybe nothing would be the best option on them in the long run.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Maybe you should talk to someone and let them know you are still suicidal and need help to keep safe Do you have any follow up appts with pdoc did you start medication it will take awhile to kick in ok give it a chance
     
  3. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    Did they set up any post release care for you? Or get any medications or therapy prescribed for follow through care?
     
  4. Tempaccount

    Tempaccount Active Member

    I dont want help. That place alone made me want to commite sucide even more. Im on meds and of coure inhave follow ups.. Im dont eith it sll. Meds, doctors,life... Only time will tell how long i go from here.
     
  5. Tempaccount

    Tempaccount Active Member

    Yes of course they did....
     
  6. lonel

    lonel Account Closed

    ya , anything work or help?
     
  7. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    It seems a lot of things have changed in the last few months since you started posting here. Last august you did not leave the house anymore, but you are apparently working now based on on this thread. If you have gone from home bound 24/7 to able to hold a job then clearly things have changed significantly - in which case isn't it more a case of finding the proper balance in what you are trying to do now? Those are some pretty substantial moves forward in a few months time to say nothing is working at all and really this seems a lot like the natural self destructive streak that often accompanies trying to get better. But these only happen if things are getting better so it does not look as hopeless from the outside as you seem to be feeling. Just my thoughts.
     
  8. Tempaccount

    Tempaccount Active Member

    Tbh, lots of weed suiport from friends ans family and my gf were my biggest help. That can only tool me so far.
    They were huge steps for me. I work 40+ hours a week now.... Tell me more about this natural self destruction.
     
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