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It is complicated. wow at what just happened

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Petal, May 28, 2015.

  1. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    I met a guy in a shop today and we got talking, (he was indian, everyone here knows I have a thing for coloured guys), we walked a few streets down and he took some pictures of me with him, we hit it off straight away, he wanted to kiss me and I kissed him back. I'm 26, he is about 45 (i don't know his age), he can't meet me again until monday, I told him I will stay over at his place. He has only been in Ireland for a year and works in an indian restaurant. He said he's not married and has no kids. I have no way to find out for now is that true, am I being naive here? We kissed multiple times and it felt right, I was so relaxed with him. I just got off the phone from him and his accent has stolen my heart with his sweet words.

    Opinions on what just happened? It was out of the blue lol, they always say there's plenty more fish in the sea, maybe he is my fish lol

    (I lied to my mom and told her I know him a few weeks as this seems a bit crazy, thing is, it was me coming onto him and well he took it lol )
    Last edited by a moderator: May 28, 2015
  2. Northern

    Northern SF Supporter

    I'm happy for you sweetie :)

    Try to know him better before getting too involved emotionally. Ask to be his facebook friend and go see him at the restaurant.

    Good luck! :hug:
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Thank you Northern, I think this may be the rainbow after the storm. I will be careful though so don't worry :) x
  4. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    Just take things slow and see how things progress. Really happy for you and I hope things work for the best :)
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Thank you hun, I appreciate your kind words and well wishes :hugs:
  6. Prinnctopher's Belt

    Prinnctopher's Belt Antiquities Friend SF Supporter

    Hell no! Absolutely not. Heres why.

    What struck me right off the bat was that he was physical with you and you just met him today, and dont know a thing about him.

    Second, why cant he spend time with you until Monday, did you ask? Did he tell?

    Third, what do you mean youll stay at his place? This is someone who you just met and youre ready to bed him and surely thats what he wants to happen. Staying at a stranger's house when you just met them is absolutely not appropriate and Im even more surprisedhes willing to let you. Which leads me to wonder what kind of man he is to meet a much younger woman, then the same day kissing on her and inviting her to his house? For what other than sex.

    This is very strange and odd, but typical of someone whos a player. I wouldnt be surprised if he couldnt spend time with you until Monday because hes spending the weekend with whom?...not saying thats definitely the case but, I prefer things to be more familiar with a person before grinding all over them and inviting myself to especially live with them the first day of meeting. Thats too fast.
    2 people like this.
  7. Koji

    Koji Well-Known Member

    ^ what she said
  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    He told me he was working in an indian restaurant until monday,(its the may bank holiday weekend here so i do believe him) he told me the name of it and i know it, it does exist. I did ask if he had a wife or kids but he said no. I talked this over with the peeps in chat last night, we're going to first meet in a public place and take it from there. Honestly, i have not been with a guy since 2013 (other than just kissing) so he wouldn't be taking advantage of me, it would be a mutual thing. But that being said, I still might change my mind. I'd like to keep my self respect. Thanks for weighing in your thoughts on this, I do appreciate the advice :) I do think my loneliness is playing a part in why this occurred too. I spoke more about it to my mom last night she said im way too innocent and too trusting and doesn't want me to meet him again.

    Oh and to answer your question yes I did tell him I would stay at his place, ONE thing bothered me actually, that he mentioned vodka, I don't know if he knows much about drink but vodka's pretty strong, I told him I do not want any kind of drink, he said we will share some food that he will get from where he works, he probably does want sex. I have a feeling that I may be a little scared to go to his house first without knowing much about him or the guys he shares the house with. He said they won't be there. I am going to have to put it off until tuesday anyway because there's no bus service on monday, its a bank holiday. I haven't told him that yet. A part of me still feels im being naive and gullible but i would do anything to feel loved, that's just the way I am :( Feel free to weigh in your thoughts again.

    IF he is a player and wants fun I am up for it. If he's a creep and wants me to be his girlfriend while have ''secrets'' count me out. If he is genuine then i've done the right thing.
    Last edited by a moderator: May 29, 2015
  9. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    I retract my last post. After talking this through with a member here last night and one today and my sister I have decided I am not going to meet this man again. I know he's only after sex and while I wouldn't be against that alone it's not going to fill my void of loneliness. I am glad I have people around me that care enough about me to make me see sense. I do not even know if I can trust this guy. I won't be seeing him.

    Now....see how I got into a lot of trouble with guys when I was really young! Naivety is the answer :lol:

    Thanks everyone <3 I shall keep searching for someone my own age who shares the same interests etc. :)
  10. AAA3330

    AAA3330 Well-Known Member

    Sorry that it didn't work out Petal.
  11. Prinnctopher's Belt

    Prinnctopher's Belt Antiquities Friend SF Supporter

    Just imagine me hitting the entire post #8, every word, every single nuance, with a giant shoe, over and over.

    Im so glad you changed your senses about this, but also because now I dont have to yell at you all over this thread. Its the best decision, hands down. You should be empowered, not sorry, that you can duck these kinds of guys before getting into a disastrous situation that could be prevented. So hi-five to that.

    Find yourself a wonderful gentleman who has boundaries and treats you like a lady, and wants more with you than just the brief lust. Even better if he finds you first! You know you can have better than whatever this perv was willing to give you (nothing).
  12. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    PB- I know you're not the type of person to say ''your reply was so sweet'' to, but I mean it. You talk sense. I use my heart over my head at times and make the thickest decisions, I might have just prevented a disaster situation, like you said...I am just going to wait until I meet the right guy for me :) I'm sure I will and settle down, i can't wait.
  13. marcpro

    marcpro Member

    Sometimes we just meet people to have sex with, it is all about your mindset. I like an intellectual and not just physical link, through biology we learned about the need to reproduce..
    A guy wanting to have sex is not necessarely a perv! Same for girls. My story: I started pick-up because I meet not enough girls to develop confidence around them so I picked up a girl and one hour later I already kissed her, but I found that she was pretty smart this is why I stayed with her. I wanted to sleep with that girl but I couldn't because of the circumstances, love is passion and passion is above reason. I know that I wouldn't be happy by just sleeping with a lot of girls, I need a 'serious', so you do too Petal. I don't need another person to 'love' me, you were about to sleep with a stranger only for this (it can lead to disasters like this) => and then the guy leaves and searches for another girl! I cooled down for the pick up thing because School is about to start again.
  14. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    I am embarrassed I made this thread lol it's not like me at all to pick a guy off the street, i agree though that girls can take advantage of a guy just like vice versa. It happens. This particular day I was feeling super hyper for some unknown reason. *embarrassed*