It Is Getting Harder To Continue Living

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Forgotten_Man, Oct 1, 2010.

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  1. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    More rambling by me... that is all I can ever seem to do is ramble... anyway.

    I think the major trigger for these feelings was finally getting my DVDs back From Z. It only took her close to two months to send them back. Thank you for the hasty return hun. You know I had almost gotten over you when BAM you remind me of you. That was just the match which set off this bomb. My failures this weekend and my overall lack of progress on moving on with my life were just piling up. The Oh progress I have made is in losing weight... sadly that is it. That is all I have done. I have not overcome my shyness. I have not made ay new friends. In fact I am starting to lose old friends. One friend I met on another forum I think I am just stringing along for sex. Even then I have lost toucch with most of my online communities. I do not know.... I feel the wold just slowly passing me by as I start To roll backwards into suicide.

    I don't even know if I should keep asking for help... that is all I seem to do... ask for help then not take it. I only seem to annoy people or lurk arouns looking for some poor soul to prey on like I did with Z. I just want to be normal... I want to be able to go out and meet people. I don't know... I want to not be what I am anymore... or I want to be honest. I want to write that I am going to get drunk on Facebook. Or to tell others my feelings. Yet I hide it all.

    Enough rambling..... I don't know anything anymore. Who I am or what I want... death seems to be the only answer.
  2. dreams4life

    dreams4life Well-Known Member

    hi there, I would recommend that you go out more, meaning do some volunteer work and help others so you would feel helpful. You can definitely make friends. Death is not the answer.
  3. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    Yeah... there is not many causes that I really support.
  4. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi and so sorry you are feeling so takes a considerable amount of time to 'get over' thing I wish for you is something I wish for myself, that I was as good at seeing my attributes as I am at seeing my's to some self-compassion...for both of us! big hugs, J
  5. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    @Sadeyes: I hate how hard it is to see my attributes :grr:
  6. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    You could try going out to a bar or restaurant and who knows, maybe you'll meet some people there? The clubs are always full of people looking to have a good time.
  7. dreams4life

    dreams4life Well-Known Member

    There is something you can do other than giving up. I feel good when I help others. Take small steps.
  8. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    @dreams4life: I am doing everything in my power to not give up friend. I think I am just tired... events have made things harder.
  9. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    The Oh progress I have made is in losing weight... sadly that is it.
    Hey FM.....that is a major achievement....don't trivialize how well you've done to achieve this....:thumbup:

    grieving a lost relationship takes time and it's just recently you've had to deal with Z again so don't be too hard on yourself...
    doing volunteer work is a good idea...joining a group, a new hobby,,anything that gets you amongst people to meet new friends...

    I know same old advice...but it might work..
  10. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    @IV2010: >_> compared to some of the people who have talked during my classes I have not lost any weight... <_< the class instructors like to ask you how much weight you have lost.

    :S I am not really sure what I want to do... I tried going to an anime club... but that only worked for so long.... I do not know what new hobbies I can take on... <_< they seem to get in the way of my old hobbies I still enjoy.
  11. Live_life

    Live_life Member

    Hello there, There is nothing wrong with being a reserved person. Some of us are introverts and some are extroverts. It is better to say little than a lot of rubbish like some do. You should not let these evil whispers in your head put you down. You must also realise is that death is not the solution or a quick fix way of ending your problems, stresses or life in general. It is just the beginning and depending on how we lived our life that is how we will be after death. Death is not a never ending sleep for it is the beginning of eternal life and if you take yours then you are doing exactley what those evil thoughts in your head is wanting you to do.

    These evil thoughts in your head are from none other than your enemy satan so will you continue to be fooled and decieved by him? Even psychologists admit that a human is always having negative thoughts constantly saying to do bad things and i guess it effects some more than others. It used to affect me much more until i put my trust, faith and reliance on my creator.

    You enemy satan is only wanting your destruction. Surely you alive in this world for a purpose and it is this purpose that you have not found and that is why you feel like ending it because you have no one to rely on. If you rely on your creator then he will never let you down but humand always will because we have our flaws whereas our creator does'nt for the lord is without flaws.

    [He] who created death and life to test you [as to] which of you is best in deed - and He is the Exalted in Might, the Forgiving. (Quran, 67:2)

    Every soul will taste death. And We test you with evil and with good as trial; and to Us you will be returned. (Quran, 21:35)

    It is the Qur'an that saved me and made me realise that i am here for a purpose. Before i realised my purpose i did not want to live. Life was pointless and worthless. It still is but i am living for the hereafter. I am wanting to do as much good as i can to please my lord so that i can build my eternal life in Paradise. So live for the next world not this pathetic world.

    Read the Qur'an for yourself and try and understand the message. You have everything to lose by not doing so and everything to gain by doing so:

    If you have any questions at all then please do not hesitate to ask. Thank you

    We shall show them Our signs in the horizons and within themselves until it becomes clear to them that it is the truth. (Quran, 41:53)
  12. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    @Live_life:Thanks for your input. However, I do not believe in the after life. To quote Bender fro Futurama, " I would kill myself now if I knew I had to live a whole other life." So I do not believe in that. In fact religion, all religion, is one of the reasons why I want to leave this life. You found me a sad and distraught human being. Then instead of offering comfort you advertised you religion to me. Religion preys upon those who have nothing left. I cannot be a part of such organizations.
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