The only time it's too late is when you're dead. Until then, you can always choose. Choose what kind of life you want, choose what kind of person you want to be, choose to live or die.
It's not too late for me, and I know it's not too late for you either, blackfire. Please hold on, these impulses will pass. It will just take time.
Keep talking. I'm here for you. PM me if you want.