It isn't a question of if

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by niall, Nov 7, 2012.

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  1. niall

    niall New Member

    I've had a massive business failure which has resulted in severe financial losses.

    I can't put my family through all of the pain of having the house taken away and all that goes with that.

    The only thing I can think about is a swift exit and allowing the insurances to pay up and save my family.

    This may not be the right site, but I need to discuss how I do the deed
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 7, 2012
  2. JmpMster

    JmpMster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    I am sorry for your difficulties. We do not discuss nor allow discussion of methods on this forum as it is a prolife site. We do have literallly thousands of years combined experience in helping through different difficult situations and feelings.

    Insurance will not make up for the life long guilt your family will feel as they will feel you tried your best and they did not support you when they needed it. Money does not make up for a spouse or father. The pain of that will be far worse than losing a house which is a simple inanimate thing. I highly doubt they will have any desire to live in a house that does nothing but remind them of you every day and what happened so they would still lose all the warmth and value a home actually has in any case.

    In way of solutions lets start first with if it is whole life or term life policy? In many cases you can borrow against the accumulated value. Knowing little else about the details of your situation I have little less to offer, but would like to know more ....

    Take Care and Be Safe

  3. katrina77

    katrina77 Guest

    We also went through a huge financial loss this year, combined with a lot of illness issues, etc. We ended up losing our home. It was hard, but it wasn't the end of the world.

    If I or my husband had harmed ourselves, it would have been far worse than losing our home. A place to live can be replaced, people can't. And the guilt, remorse, stress, anger, etc. that a suicide would have left would have been a thousand times more devastating than just losing a building.

    Please talk to our family about what has happened financially. Talk about what you can do, get counseling regarding credit options, etc. Don't look at ending your life as an option to fix money problems. It isn't worth it, and the damage you would do your family will never be fixed.
  4. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Niall, I'm so sorry to hear how rough things have been for you.

    The economy has been very hard all around the world in the last few years. Many people who had very good jobs lost them and lost their homes and it's still happening to some. It is NOT sign that those people failed as business people or as family supporters. The economy failed. And the failure of national/international economies trickles down to Joe Business Owner or Employee.

    If you have debt, have you spoken with a debt and/or financial counsellor to consolidate your debts and get a reasonable payment plan in place? It might help to do so.
    If you live in big house/condo a smaller one might house all of you and while less "fancy" you'll have a roof over your head. Fancy can be bought again, down the road when things pick up in the economy again. (I understand you don't want to take anything away from your family - but the family would handle downsizing their living quarters more easily than they would handle losing dad/husbad). You could talk to your wife about this and together work out what and how to cut back and then how to explain things to the kids.
    If you have two vehicles, would one be feasible? (More trouble scheduling, maybe, but "feasible".) Or two smaller, used vehicles? Or public transit depending on where you live and what you do?
    Do you have teenaged kids of working age? Sure, you want to give them as much as you can...but teens can work to buy some of their stuff - whether it's the designer hoodie they want or saving for college tuition. Working for some of what they own/spend their own money on can help distinguish between "needs" and "wants." A valuable lesson.

    There are so many possible ways to make inroads on your situation that don't involve your suiciding. Could you look into these - suicide is so final and doesn't allow for hope for a better life for you. These other options can get us moving to a point where what we lost for a while, we can earn back.

    Niall, I hope so much that you will consider these ideas and NOT harm yourself. You sound like a very decent, hardworking, caring man. The type of person your family loves and needs right now. Keep posting and let us know how you're doing. It's good to vent. Feel free to PM me anytime if you want. :hug:
  5. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    You might want to check your insurance policy to be sure suicide is covered as a natural or accidental death...

    Your plan does not relieve the financial issues and only ads pain and loss to the equation. Not only that, but it removes you from any possible financial recovery plan.

    When you take a punch, get back up and keep on fighting.
  6. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I sent you a PM...please continue to tell us what is going on and know there are many people here who can relate to what you have said
  7. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi there, I can't imagine the pain you are going through right now, but what has happened does not make you a failure. There is a recession and businesses going down the drain every day. By the sounds of it you really love your family and they love you. At this time you need to stay strong for them. I would strongly suggest getting professional help, while you may receive support and caring on here , it does not substitute professional help and guidance. Try and make an appointment to see your doctor, there is nothing to be ashamed of, doctors hear it all the time, you can do it :) Stay strong and think positive for yourself and your loved ones. :hug:
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