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It isn't my life

Wrick Malcof

Wrick Malcof

Well-Known Member
#1
#1
My life does not belong to me. I'm just the unfortunate fool who's forced to live it. In truth my life belongs to the people who want it to exist. The parents and siblings. The people who have convinced themselves that I matter. So now no matter how badly I want it all to end it doesn't change anything. Because ultimately it is not up to me to decide if these people get to have me around. I only exist to justify the selfishness of people who "love" me. I'm nothing more than a token.

The very fact that I exist fills me with so much rage and dismay. I am so unbelievably sick of the world I live in. I can't tolerate it. I just fucking can't. I hope god does exist so I can call them a **** to their face when I finally bite the dust
 
S

Secgirl

Member
#2
#2
It’s awful feeling this way. I’m the same. Want all the pain to stop but have kids that I can’t leave behind so we plod on best we can. Message if you want to you are not alone
 
Lane

Lane

SF Supporter
#3
#3
Wrick Malcof said:
My life does not belong to me. I'm just the unfortunate fool who's forced to live it. In truth my life belongs to the people who want it to exist. The parents and siblings. The people who have convinced themselves that I matter. So now no matter how badly I want it all to end it doesn't change anything. Because ultimately it is not up to me to decide if these people get to have me around. I only exist to justify the selfishness of people who "love" me. I'm nothing more than a token.

The very fact that I exist fills me with so much rage and dismay. I am so unbelievably sick of the world I live in. I can't tolerate it. I just fucking can't. I hope god does exist so I can call them a **** to their face when I finally bite the dust
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I read your post with much interest @Wrick Malcof. I was wondering why you cant call them ass#$% now while you are alive for them to hear it? You dont have to answer. I just think it would be more satisfying to know that their actions or whatever it is that bothers you, they know about it.
 
1964dodge

1964dodge

Has a frog in the family
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#5
#5
Wrick Malcof said:
My life does not belong to me. I'm just the unfortunate fool who's forced to live it. In truth my life belongs to the people who want it to exist. The parents and siblings. The people who have convinced themselves that I matter. So now no matter how badly I want it all to end it doesn't change anything. Because ultimately it is not up to me to decide if these people get to have me around. I only exist to justify the selfishness of people who "love" me. I'm nothing more than a token.

The very fact that I exist fills me with so much rage and dismay. I am so unbelievably sick of the world I live in. I can't tolerate it. I just fucking can't. I hope god does exist so I can call them a **** to their face when I finally bite the dust
Click to expand...
i'm sorry that you feel so terrible right now. and loved ones wanting us to live does kind of force us to stay alive. but keep trying to get better it can happen with hard work and support. a lot of people here wanted to die but are now happy they are here. if you ever want to talk feel free to use my inbox...mike...*hug*shake
 
Legate Lanius

Legate Lanius

Well-Known Member
#7
#7
I'm only alive because of my family, and maybe a pinch of survival instinct and pain aversion. I think we can use this to our advantage by not only doing the bare minimum for the people that keep us alive, if we're not already. Trying to seem like we're functioning, not mentioning the suicide and depression stuff unless it's very necessary, helping out where we can with chores/money/whatever. I'm not really doing that a whole lot, but it's a fast way to feel better and help the family at the same time.
 
Wrick Malcof

Wrick Malcof

Well-Known Member
#8
#8
Legate Lanius said:
I'm only alive because of my family, and maybe a pinch of survival instinct and pain aversion. I think we can use this to our advantage by not only doing the bare minimum for the people that keep us alive, if we're not already. Trying to seem like we're functioning, not mentioning the suicide and depression stuff unless it's very necessary, helping out where we can with chores/money/whatever. I'm not really doing that a whole lot, but it's a fast way to feel better and help the family at the same time.
Click to expand...
One of life's greatest misfortunes is the fact that not every remedy will work for every person. I help my family daily, maintaining this ridiculous façade of progress and vitality. It only serves to drain me further and further. If it helps for you, then by all means I wish you nothing short of the best in your progress. But for me there is no advantage. Life isn't worth living. If it is, then Earth is one of the worst places to spend your days. Even if somehow I could enjoy the Earth, I absolutely despise the monsters that inhabit this meaningless wet rock. Life isn't worth living if I have to live it alongside the masses of unsympathetic and self serving wastes of life that I'm forced to interact with in my daily life. Some people are good, but believe it or not they are vastly, VASTLY outnumbered and there isn't a damn thing we can do about that
 
Legate Lanius

Legate Lanius

Well-Known Member
#9
#9
Wrick Malcof said:
One of life's greatest misfortunes is the fact that not every remedy will work for every person. I help my family daily, maintaining this ridiculous façade of progress and vitality. It only serves to drain me further and further. If it helps for you, then by all means I wish you nothing short of the best in your progress. But for me there is no advantage. Life isn't worth living. If it is, then Earth is one of the worst places to spend your days. Even if somehow I could enjoy the Earth, I absolutely despise the monsters that inhabit this meaningless wet rock. Life isn't worth living if I have to live it alongside the masses of unsympathetic and self serving wastes of life that I'm forced to interact with in my daily life. Some people are good, but believe it or not they are vastly, VASTLY outnumbered and there isn't a damn thing we can do about that
Click to expand...
Makes sense
 
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