my thoughts keep pulling me down with them. i have started getting upset over maybe minor things. i'm tired. my mom saw me cry today and i can't even tell her what's bothering me. i don't know if my family loves me anymore because sometimes my dad is abusive but then he's really nice. i want to tell my mom i was sexually abused but she'll cry and then i'll have to comfort her instead of her me. will this ever end? i don't even feel like speaking to my counselor because i don't want him to hate me and maybe he can't even do anything. i'm not suicidal but i wonder if this is what you're supposed to do if nobody likes the real you because you're too damaged? my parents will hate me if they find out i'm so messed up. they don't even know me. i don't know myself either anymore. i want to scream but nobody will hear me. i feel like maybe if i just sit here i'll die and have peace. sorry if this is triggering or whatever. you can delete it.