It just hurts

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by ZombiePringle, Sep 16, 2010.

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  1. ZombiePringle

    ZombiePringle Forum Buddy and Antiquities Friend

    There is no other way to explain this. I'm just weakening everyday. I'm only holding on for a very small amount of people. I'm slowly pushing everything away... The internet included. I don't want to interact with people at all usually. I don't want to eat anymore most days. I just want to curl up and try and disappear into my own world. I just want an escape...anything to get away from all this.
     
  2. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    You can only force yourself not to push everything away-- and sometimes it'll happen anyways.

    Make a list of the positive things in your life - one of things you want to do before you die some day; and think about them.
    Wouldn't it be a waste to just stay curled up in a ball in the dark forever?
     
  3. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    So many times I feel this way too. I hope you feel better soon. :hug: Try to get some extra rest and eat your veggies.
     
  4. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    :hug::hug::hug: I'm so sorry you feel like that...please hold on and keep fighting, I know its hard right now, and everyday but please keep going...
     
  5. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    You sound like in so much pain, vulnerable and fragile.

    What is it you want to get away from?

    If you don't want to interact, then that is fine. If you want to curl up and sleep that is also fine. It's what your mind is telling you to do to keep safe and recover. The thing with not eating though- is that can make you feel worse- but if your appetite has gone, that's understandable because you're feeling low.When I feel like you I generally have to remember: sleep loads, eat , wash. And just working on that level for a while until I feel better.

    Could you possibly eat two meals instead of three a day, if that's easier? I know you might not want to but food, sleep, rest can be the most important/vital to get through the period you're in.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 22, 2010
  6. ZombiePringle

    ZombiePringle Forum Buddy and Antiquities Friend

    My job, my homelife, my past. I just want to get away from all that. I'm doing a bit better with eating but I'm starting to slip into the frame of mind that I don't want to eat. I used to struggle with anorexia so I know that is starting to factor back in.
     
  7. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    You're holding a lot on your shoulders and how you're feeling is completely understandable.

    Are there ways you can express yourself somehow?
    And do you have any offline support or a therapist although I appreciate you might not be in any state to reach out for help seeing as you're so fragile?
     
  8. ZombiePringle

    ZombiePringle Forum Buddy and Antiquities Friend

    I've been trying to write. I've been wanting to write a book and got started on it but I can't seem to finish. As for the therapist I need to find one. My health insurance just changed so I need to find one covered by my insurance (I have the same company its just they changed some doctors and everything). For offline support... I do have a girlfriend who I'm not exactly close to anymore and have no friends. My family is about 10 hours away.
     
  9. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    Writing is good, I do that loads- but I was thinking of something that isn't confined to a book where you feel trapped with style/structure, something a lot more expressive. I don't know if that would help you as it helps me though. :hug:

    Are you close to your family in terms of letting them know how you feel? And is your relationship with your gf troubling you?

    I'm searching for a therapist too, it can be very difficult.
     
  10. ZombiePringle

    ZombiePringle Forum Buddy and Antiquities Friend

    I never talk to my family about how I feel really. As for my relationship I think it does effect me... It is slightly my fault since I'm realizing things about myself but it still kinda effects how I feel.
     
  11. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    When I read your post though , I didn't see someone to blame but someone developing insight and learning and I admire that. I know you don't feel well right now but I hope you take it easy and not be too hard on yourself. I know that feeling of isolation from family and empathise loads.:hug:
     
  12. ZombiePringle

    ZombiePringle Forum Buddy and Antiquities Friend

    Thanks for listening/reading it helped a lot :hug:
     
  13. icewolf

    icewolf Member

    Ditto about the pride.

    You sound like you have hit the worst possible phase, and you're stil hanging on! Awsome, awsome, awsome! This is how strong you are. You can fight even more, i know you can. :hamster:

    Two things:
    Just remember, depression damages your neural system. It makes itself worse. Might be time for a pick-me-up. Go see a psyciatrist and explain that you are strong enough to fight this, but you need some time out of it to catch your breath.

    You probably know this just as well as me, but when you go into the dark times your thoughts change. You lose perspective. Giving up becomes a possibility. Dont listen to yourself, dont trust what your brain is throwing at you. It's not too late, it's not hopeless! All it takes is a moment to breathe and regain perspective. Maybe some meds can give you that?
     
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