It just keeps getting worse

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by coder90t, Sep 5, 2007.

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  1. coder90t

    coder90t Active Member

    Ever since i started school, everyone looks at me and says, "thats the guy that tried to kill himself." It seems like everyone has a bigger grudge against me, all because i have emotional feelings. My ex-ex girlfriend even got her guy friends to beat me up every day after school -- When I walked out the door, there they were, taking me to the bathroom beating me up calling me a emo bitch. Everytime I try to get away from them, the harder they hit. I can't beat them up!
    Then theres my psychiatrist. He try's to say he understands what i've been threw. But he just says the most stupidist and meanest shit ever. He thinks anyone that is suicidal is a freak, so he is all quiet around me. Everytime i see him, we berly talk. Like he'll say, why would you do this, and when I would say why, he would be like, well who cares.
    Parents. They're being the biggest asswholes. They even told me today that they only want me at there house so they can just keep taking money away from what I make at work.
    Everything. Everything is falling down on me. I'm getting worse, how do I hold on?
  2. Forlornspirit

    Forlornspirit Well-Known Member

    I don't know how you feel, but I can tell you one of my experiences that sounds similar to your's.

    When I went to a mental hospital, one of my closest friends told close to the entire school that I was there for attempting suicide. And when I got back, it was horrible, everyone looked at me like I was the bane of thier existence. But, as time went on they started looking at new things, and surely enough, within a couple of months, all was forgotten.

    As for the therapist, I have something a bit similar. My doctor (that also served as my therapist) had somewhat of a SMALL vocabulary.. It contained of "You take these pills or you go crazy and kill family and self". He was foreign -_- I found that just telling him my problems, and taking the advice that I felt 'truly' helped me, worked perfectly.

    And my parents, I should say my dad, is heavily christian, and hearing "You defyed god and you're going to hell." all day REALLY didn't help.

    I have no clue what's going through your head. All I know is that feelings are temporary, but actions last forever. I hope that life shines brighter on you, soon. If you ever need anything, feel free to PM me. I'm here for you.
    Please take care and try to hold on!
  3. citygirl

    citygirl Member

    I hear you. I haven't slept a whole night thru in months. I was so exhausted and drunk I went down about 8pm woke up at 1am and I haven't been back to sleep since. I lay awake and cry I am so sad. I really just want to die. I don't want do this anymore.
  4. JustWatchMeChange

    JustWatchMeChange Well-Known Member

    Man I hate to hear of bullies beating ppl up. I'm so sorry. It used to happen to me too. Now I'm into Martial Arts and Bodybuilding and it's not such a problem. Watch the movie Sidekicks or The Karate Kid. Sounds like you need to examine how you choose girlfriends as do I.
  5. coder90t

    coder90t Active Member

    Well, this forum actully makes me feel better cos i am able to relate to people that have gone threw the same thing. I just don't really have any luck on making it to the road of happiness right now.
  6. KavithaB

    KavithaB Member

    I understand how you feel as I have also survived suicide attempt. There were people who were the cause of my attempt but just blamed me that I tried to put them into further trouble instead of feeling sorry that they drove me to such a decision.

    I don't think trying to commit suicide is a freak; rather it requires a lot of courage. However I would say that you should not do it. You must grow strong. I am sorry that the bullies bet you up. I hate people who try to exercise their physical force on weaker ones. I want you to grow stronger and beat you up.

    As for everyone's comments, please ignore. When people get something else to talk, they will forget this.

    Try to live your life, boldly and strongly. If you need to speak, PM me.

    Take care
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