arghhhh im struggling just all my life people hurt me and leave me. really. everyone. now the last week ive been feeling sooo awful and my mind has been going over and over all this shit. all i keep saying to myself is ''no one likes you. you are nothing. you have no impact on anyones life. no one needs you. no one will care if you go. you are always replaced.'' my head wont stop. last night i had a nightmare about it all [again] arghhhh. last night my friend was meant to come over. but she cancelled on me saying she wasnt feeling well and really wanted to stay at home and have a good nights sleep. but it turns out she lied to me and went to another friends house and had a lil get together. grrrrrrr. this ALWAYS happens to me. my whole body aches from crying. im fed up of this. im fed up of myself. everyone wants to get rid of me. gosh i sound so pathetic right now. i just dont know where else to get all this out of me. fuckkkkk. i feel like such an idiot. im so ashamed to be me!!!!!!!!
you know, it's that trusting nature of people. we automatically assume people get better. anyway, look. it's not your fault. YOU are probably better than them. don't kick yourself because of something they do.
If your so called friends cant be straight with you about where they stand on your friendship and go off with other people...then move on, you deserve better, that isnt friendship, and im sure there are other people out there that would be happy to have you as a friend. :hug:
i know it sounds really childish what i was saying. its just that sooo many people have fucked me about, that even the slightest thing that happens ticks me off. bloody annoying. i wish i was calmer...
