It got it now. I came to this site for some reason which I didn't know at the time, but I think it was that I wanted someone to hear my self-pity and I wanted someone to show some empathy, but it makes sense. I am just scum and you laugh at my reasoning. I can hear your laughs in fact you are probably outside of my window you bastards. Just like that one night that guy with the gun was following me when I was walking my dog. I almost caught him when I ran after him, but he was probably in league with you. Did you tire with me as a toy or are you finallly sick of my bitching. You fuckers make me laugh. Sitting on your pedastals thinking that you are better than everyone else. I got it. I understand everything. Because I have different abilities than you. But my abilities are worthless. I am not progressing. I havent progressed in all the 19 years I have been alive. I am torn between it is you and your organization's fault or mine for being bothered by you so much. Did you send the fuckers who considered o be my friends. Do you ust pull names out of hat. Silly silly sillY. My fucking asshole roomate has a gun somewhere and that fucker leaves I'm goig to find it. All of this shit is bullshit. I'm sick of your torture and I am not going to give you the pleasure of killing me.