For what it's worth, the fact that you're prepared to commit suicide, just proves that you're worth keeping alive. Like it or not, it's a fact. It means either that A) you're prepared not to settle (ie. to not be a loser) or B) that you're prepared to put other people before yourself. Those are 2 of the best qualities a person can have. It's just a matter of getting rid of a very painful illness (ie. Depression - one of the most dangerous diseases in existence).