Well, only 5 days to go. The countdown is on. That is what my mind it telling me. Suicidal Ideations can sometimes be put on the backburner, but like an alcoholic who can't take that first drink, those of us who suffer from Suicidal Ideations, can't have that first triggering event. I am just so tired. Physically, emotionally. I have struggled for so long now, and I am tired of scraping together enough money to survive the week. I want to get thru this holiday and then on Monday, I am considering it. Don't have a plan. But I have time to think of one. I can just feel myself running out of steam.