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It never rains...goodbye Gramps

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Hazel Morse, Jan 9, 2014.

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  1. Hazel Morse

    Hazel Morse Well-Known Member

    If you've read my previous posts you'll know that tomorrow I have to decide whether to a) stay in my abusive workplace for another year of shit work for no pay b) try to get another job under less-than -ideal conditions, maybe having to move back to Australia to live with my abusive family c) pack it in for good, like in a Willa Cather story*. Still haven't figured that one out.

    This morning I found out that my Gramps died. No one bothered to inform me for 3 days because I'm being semi-shunned (not in a formal, religious sense, more just :"please don't talk to us until we can be sure your failure germs won't rub off on us.") by my family.

    I loved Gramps when I was young. He taught me to read when I was four. My username here comes from a story in anthology of literary texts - his last present to me at 17. However, we hadn't spoken in about 6 or 7 years, since my "failure". I'm on the shit-list until I pull myself up by the bootstraps.

    So I don't know how to feel. Do depression and suicidal tendencies make us crass and uncaring? Does it matter? Should we try to have the "right" emotions, when the world so clearly condemns us for our lack of "proper" expression anyway? I'm trying to work up to something more than I'm feeling now.

    * Paul's Case, also in Gramp's anthology.
  2. demuredawn

    demuredawn Well-Known Member

    there are no right or wrong emotions... only right and wrong actions/words, i am very sorry to hear about your grandfather and that you were not told about it... i know how that feels, my family has done that twice to me now... idk what to say on the rest of it tho , sorry
  3. Kairo

    Kairo Well-Known Member

    I think it's hard, even impossible, to push against or try to deny our emotions...esp. to try to please others. Working with them and trying to understand them is more plausible i think...i don't know if that relates to you. I'm sorry for your lose, and that your family isn't being very considerate of you for whatever reason it is. I know what that's like.
    I'd imagine you're feeling like things were unresolved between you are your gramps? that must be very hard.
    I hope you believe he loved you, and would want you to honor him by taking care of yourself to the best of your abilities.
  4. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Seeing is Believing Forum Pro SF Supporter

    Sometimes in big families, they all assume one of them notified you etc. It happens to all in different sorts of families if theyre getting along or not. Sorry about your loss.
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