Why does it never stop? I have always despised everything that I am but no matter how much I try and change I either end up hating what I've become or failing to make any changes at all. I used to be so incredibly lonely that it drove me to the very brink of jacking it all in. That was only 3 short years ago. I guess I still am lonely, even though I'm preparing to get married in a couple of months. I just want to know when I can expect to stop despising myself. Is that too much to ask?