it never stops

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by taske93, Sep 10, 2012.

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  1. taske93

    taske93 Member

    Im 19 years old . My mom just tried to kill herself , she swallowed bunch of pils and is in hospital right now. This is not her first time , first time was when i was 11 years old , she tried to jump of the balcony but i grabbed her leg and she started crying and came down. She later tried to do it with pils but dad or sister called ambulance... Dad and her are always fighting , he is always angry at his life and takes it all on me (mentally) its always my fault.... He was never around when i was growing up and we have 0 communication , she on the other hand was raising me but she was always depressed and it felt like she isnt around either. We are fairly poor , i cant go to university , i dont have job but i want to start over somewhere far away and leave all these problems that are slowing me down, i feel like i have so much to offer to the world but i cant do it all without support. I never had close relationship that lasted it was all either flirt or couple of dates. I pushed all my friends away and im becoming a person i dont recognize or understand. I only see comfort in knowing that im going to die someday and that pain will stop . I dont wanna feel this way , i dont want to blame others for my problems . I wanna spread my wings and fly.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi hun i hope while in hospital your mom gets the help she needs to findally pull her out of that dperession

    You hun are an adult now and need to take care of YOU ok You talk to your doctor a councillor at your school someone hun ok and get some therapy for YOU to heal from all this trauma you have witnessed

    can you not stay at your aunts for awhile h un a relative to get away from all the tension

    Hope you continue to post hun let out some of the sadness here ok hugs to you
     
  3. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni


    Hello and I'm sorry to read of your plight and I feel for you. Your mother probably has had a tough time alone and hopefully you can be there with her to help her hopefully find a positive solution to her current issues. You are an adult but it is not easy to just "move out and take on the world." What you can do is stay as positive as you can and start working on a plan to achieve something on your own in time. You are lucky to be just 19, so you have a whole lifetime ahead of you. It's way too early to have achieved success yet. As for college, I did not get a degree and I did very well rising to senior management in a Fortune 500 company, and my oldest son is doing quite the same thing without college... so really, while a degree is helpful, it is your ambition and hard work in the end that will measure your successes. Do not take comfort in dying. Take comfort in finding a positive path that will lead to happiness. You really can do it if you try and the people who say that hope is false and "it gets better" is untrue, they are just not giving it the time that it sometimes takes to occur. It is not always instant and it is not always in a few years. Sometimes it takes an entire lifetime. You only get one lifetime, don't waste it.
     
  4. taske93

    taske93 Member

    update , she didnt go to mental institution , she is home , everyone is acting like everything is fine , she is weak but walking doing stuff around house , watching tv etc... i dont know what to say or to feel , im so confused... they want me to go to uni , cuz my grandparents and uncle will help with money , but with everything going around i dont know if i can focus on uni right now.
     
  5. taske93

    taske93 Member

    new update , situation is very wierd but atleast everyone is calm ... another sad news my cousin died today , he was good guy , im very sad :( damn it all the bad stuff keeps happening to me :(
     
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