It PISSES me OFF (just a tiny rant)

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by FoundAndLost1, Feb 9, 2008.

  1. It's ironic, stupid, fascinating, infuriating, puzzling, ridiculous, laughable - and SAD(!) that when I was suicidal (which happily, I'm not, presently) - all sorts of people would come out of the woodwork to provide/fill me with PLATITUDES about, well, you've probably heard them all yourselves, time and again...(enough to make you puke if you'd had the energy :mad:) (and I know they meant well at the time...)

    Yet now that I'm better, and am happily trying to communicate again, I find that most everyone who offered all that supposed "wisdom" is entirely wrapped up and consumed, oblivious, and totally self-involved with the shit they're now going through! I KNOW it's only human to be hypocritical (probably not even being aware of it) - but it still BUGS my ASS!!!

    (I'd gladly offer my own 'support' as they wanted to give me, and I do - but they cannot/will not take their OWN precious advice - and I am - 'careful' of handing out words that will not reach them and be understood/helpful. Mostly, I listen. I would NEVER, for instance, tell someone to "CHEER UP!" I'd fully, and rightly, expect them to tell me to fuck off and die!!!)
     
    Last edited: Feb 9, 2008
  2. Melancholy

    Melancholy Well-Known Member

    Well put, very well put indeed. Doesn't mean shit, here I come out of the woodwork just to say that, and most probably you won't hear from me again, but I agree wholeheartedly.

    Ironic, I say this whilst probably I do exactly the same to a load of people. What can I say? I try...

    :unsure:
     
  3. Lead Savior

    Lead Savior Well-Known Member

    The people I went to when I first began feeling like this just sent me off to see a therapist regularly. It has only been on the order of months now, I regret telling anyone anything so I have just closed up and pretended to be fine, they have too.



    I am very happy that you're feeling better btw :D
     
  4. Ta, LS!

    Know the feeling...:dry:

    Fucking band-aids (and so blithely offered) for gaping wounds!!

    (though I hope it doesn't keep you from continuing to try to find something that may help you... I know very well it's a process, with no 'guarantees')
     
    Last edited: Feb 9, 2008
  5. Another closely related thing that drives me to fucking distraction is when I'm trying to keep in communication with folks, I take the time to actually READ what they've written me (for instance, it hit REPLY instead of NEW so I can go back and forth between 'my' stuff and 'their' stuff - same as folks here use the QUOTE feature so they can refer to what an OP wrote). I acknowledge what they've written, comment on it whether it's happy or sad, encourage them, and also share my own things...

    THIS is what I consider COMMUNICATION! (otherwise, what's the fucking point?!) But over and again, they completely ignore what I'VE taken the time and thought to write, and, as I said previously, remain entirely and selfishly utterly obsessed with their OWN tiny universes! For instance, I've mentioned to someone who calls herself a friend - TWICE now - that I have cancer (though this kind does have a good 'cure' rate...) Not because I want a freaking "PITY PARTY", but because I could use a little support and encouragement too - same as I give her! She not only doesn't answer in any timely fashion (even though she's got LOTS of time on her hands), but has yet to comment on it AT ALL... :mad: HelOO!!!!!

    I know, I know --- the only answer really is to simply phase people like that out of my life (I'm rather used to doing that - it's part of life, for good or ill)...

    But what a fucking waste of time and effort it is so often to "do unto others as you would have done to you..."!!!!!! :mad: :mad:

    (thanks for letting me get that off my chest)
     
    Last edited: Feb 11, 2008
  6. While I'm at it (obviously on a Bitchy roll...), another thing that drives me nuts, makes me want to SLAP someone, is when people say such stupid and thoughtless things like, "Oh! You've got it SO much better/easier than I DO!" HelOO!! I was fucking SUICIDAL for several years! (and they know it).

    I know damn well that everyone's pain is relative to themselves, but it's like comparing fucking apples to oranges - or that old "grass is always greener on the other side". It's like simply mentioning to someone in passing that you've got a headache - and they say "Oh, but I have a BRAIN TUMOUR!!"

    (I'm usually a compassionate person, but...) "Well, you know what then?? Just fucking DIE and get it OVER with!!!!"

    :please:

    OR, "Would you like some cheese with that whine?!"


    (he-he ... 'Guess this isn't so "tiny" after all! But it feels so damned good!)
     
    Last edited: Feb 11, 2008
  7. 'Be interesting (or rather, just as infuriating) to put together a list of "useless advice", well-meant, or purely ignorant(!) that others so 'kindly' have provided (sometimes, just to hear themselves speak, it seems!).

    Cheer up!
    Snap out of it!
    Get over it
    Pull yourself up by your bootstraps!
    There's always a light at the end of a tunnel
    Everything happens for a reason...
    God never gives you more than you can handle!
    Read this book...
    Follow this list...
    When life gives you lemons, just make lemonade
    This is the BEST drug!
    Just "think positive"!
    Don't dwell on the past... (hello, ever heard of PTSD?)
    Don't think about it (...my own family doctor :mad:)
    Look for the silver lining
    You need to lighten up...
    "But think about how lucky you are...!"
    (-other people have it worse than you)
    Don't be so negative!
    Things are never as bad as they seem
    There's always a rainbow after the storm
    For every problem, there's always a solution...
    It's all about your state of mind/attitude!
    Be strong!
    It (whatever) was meant to be...
    "Don't worry - be HAPPY!" (Bobby Mcfarrin - ok, at least that one's cheery)

    But the one I DO love is Monty Python's:
    "Always look on the bright side of life!"

    http://youtube.com/watch?v=jHPOzQzk9Qo

    :wink:
     
    Last edited: Feb 15, 2008
  8. BlackPegasus

    BlackPegasus Well-Known Member

    The above are particularly annoying to me. Grrrr!!!!!!
     
  9. BlackPegasus

    BlackPegasus Well-Known Member

    :arms: I'm sorry if I haven't been very supportive to you. You've been so kind and supportive of me. I am glad that it has a good "cure" rate and I hope it turns out well for you. I truly hate cancer. Seeing how it causes people to suffer so. Huggles!!!
     
  10. Thanks Hon! (I really am 'alright' with it so far...after all the other shit I've gone through, it rather - perhaps ironically - pales in comparison...)
     
    Last edited: Feb 15, 2008
  11. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    good luck fighting the cancer; feel free to PM me if there's anything i can do or if you need to share one to one.

    so, let me add to the catalog of useless advice... at my first appt with the psych she said to me, practically wagging her finger... "would it be fair to your kind sister, who has been *so* generous with you, would it be fair to her if you killed yourself..." me "um, i don't know?" her "well. would it?" me "um i guess not?"

    i had one of those WTF moments. of course, she's also the psych who got some basic info about me wrong, saying "when you overdosed...." which i hadn't (yeah, i'd attempted but that wasn't the method).

    another friend told me to "snap the f--- out of it" ... but my other friends beat her up over it (not literally) and she has since apologized.

    sometimes i just want to SCREAM...

    c.
     
  12. Sometimes...? Yeah I know the feeling...

    Thanks for your kind wishes!
     
  13. Spearmint

    Spearmint Well-Known Member

    I agree wholeheartedly.
     
  14. I keep thinking on that one - I'm glad your friends did something so 'positive' on your behalf! It's a rare and wonderful thing... :smile: