1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

It Seems Though Im Cursed

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Danny Crooks, Oct 21, 2008.

  1. Danny Crooks

    Danny Crooks Well-Known Member

    I just seem to suffer problem after problem, like both my body AND my mind have been cursed by something, or someone.

    Firstly, I have had stomach ulcers for ages, which have reaklly caused me pain and discomfort for so long, I have tendonitis in my hand, i have a fucked up cartilage in my right knee, i have a broken thumb and a scar on my face from a fall.

    I have been diagnosed with schizophrenia, i keep hearing voices and they keep telling me that im worthless, im not supposed to be here and the world would be better without me. I have come to terms with the fact that they are not real, it took me ages, but i understand this now, but how can they not be, if they are there 24/7, 365 days a year? I feel like I want to kill myself at every given moment, and feel like every relationship i have entered into, I have ruined due to my insecurity.

    i am cursed, i am destined to have nothing.
     
  2. byebyebeautiful

    byebyebeautiful Account Closed

    i hear those kind of voices too. you gotta fight them, i know the medication doesnt stop them does it? they push through too strong for meds. :hug: you can beat it though, so so so much better than them voices. voices :dry:
     
  3. Danny Crooks

    Danny Crooks Well-Known Member

    yeah its as though they side-step the path which the medication are taking, like "haha, suckers, you can't get me!", and then they infiltrate my thinktank.
     
  4. byebyebeautiful

    byebyebeautiful Account Closed

    yeah. i think they bipass, because they have been with us so long, or have been for me anyway. how long have you had them?

    my voices are really messed up, i cant take them.. the know EVERYTHING bad i have done in my life, and its bad regardless of the context.
     
  5. Danny Crooks

    Danny Crooks Well-Known Member

    yeah tell me about it, they are intuitive bastards!!
    I seem to spend the majority of my waking day arguing with myself, while i try & keeop it straight out front so that i dont give people ammunition to have a right pop at me, .. they love doing that here, they pick on any weakness and make everyone aware of it
    Make sme wanna slap their mothers!!
    but i hate myself so much for not being able to control myself, if that makes sense
     
  6. rootedphoenix

    rootedphoenix Well-Known Member

    It makes perfect sense. I don't have schizophrenia, but it's really easy for my ADD mind to get lost in thought and forget about the world outside. I have to stop myself so. often. argh.