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It Seems Though Im Cursed

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Danny Crooks, Oct 21, 2008.

  1. Danny Crooks

    Danny Crooks Well-Known Member

    I just seem to suffer problem after problem, like both my body AND my mind have been cursed by something, or someone.

    Firstly, I have had stomach ulcers for ages, which have reaklly caused me pain and discomfort for so long, I have tendonitis in my hand, i have a fucked up cartilage in my right knee, i have a broken thumb and a scar on my face from a fall.

    I have been diagnosed with schizophrenia, i keep hearing voices and they keep telling me that im worthless, im not supposed to be here and the world would be better without me. I have come to terms with the fact that they are not real, it took me ages, but i understand this now, but how can they not be, if they are there 24/7, 365 days a year? I feel like I want to kill myself at every given moment, and feel like every relationship i have entered into, I have ruined due to my insecurity.

    i am cursed, i am destined to have nothing.
  2. byebyebeautiful

    byebyebeautiful Account Closed

    i hear those kind of voices too. you gotta fight them, i know the medication doesnt stop them does it? they push through too strong for meds. :hug: you can beat it though, so so so much better than them voices. voices :dry:
  3. Danny Crooks

    Danny Crooks Well-Known Member

    yeah its as though they side-step the path which the medication are taking, like "haha, suckers, you can't get me!", and then they infiltrate my thinktank.
  4. byebyebeautiful

    byebyebeautiful Account Closed

    yeah. i think they bipass, because they have been with us so long, or have been for me anyway. how long have you had them?

    my voices are really messed up, i cant take them.. the know EVERYTHING bad i have done in my life, and its bad regardless of the context.
  5. Danny Crooks

    Danny Crooks Well-Known Member

    yeah tell me about it, they are intuitive bastards!!
    I seem to spend the majority of my waking day arguing with myself, while i try & keeop it straight out front so that i dont give people ammunition to have a right pop at me, .. they love doing that here, they pick on any weakness and make everyone aware of it
    Make sme wanna slap their mothers!!
    but i hate myself so much for not being able to control myself, if that makes sense
  6. rootedphoenix

    rootedphoenix Well-Known Member

    It makes perfect sense. I don't have schizophrenia, but it's really easy for my ADD mind to get lost in thought and forget about the world outside. I have to stop myself so. often. argh.