It sucks already

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Atompilz, Jan 1, 2013.

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  1. Atompilz

    Atompilz Well-Known Member

    My boy kitty is getting worse, he has a terminal kidney disease, my kitties are what keeps me going through all the shit that is life. Vets is closed so have given him water with a syringe, he is booked in tomorrow. I am so scared of losing him.

    I am so fed up of everything. I always feel that nomatter what I do I am just watching other people getting happier and more of what they want in life while my little company keeps been taken from me. One ex just got engaged, two best friends who I only now have contact with online/phone just got together with the partner of their dreams. Of course I am happy for them but they were always the ones who were more like me and it somehow makes me feel more alone, how selfish is that! I just find couples hard to deal with as they seem so alien and another two mates just got together. All three couples say they want to visit me soon and although I would love to see them it will mean feeling like the third wheel, which can make you feel more lonely than being alone, and dividing time between their time and time with me. Sort of annoys me too that I ask them to come over and over and they only decide to when it means a holiday for them as a new couple. The one friend I don't feel like that as she has visited lots before and the only reason she hasn't lately is she couldn't afford it, the chap is treating her, she is great and am happy for her.

    I have never taken any meds, I asked my doctor for some two years ago, which took a lot of courage and he refused to give me anything and been too scared to ask again. My friends tell me I should see a therapist which again I have been too scared due to bad experiences before. I just found a psychologist and sent her an email, took so much strength, even writing that made me cry. Is that who I should see? I don't even know the difference between all the different types. Each day feels worse.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You talk to your doctor again ok and if your doctor does not listen you go to anothr doctor until you get the help you need hun ok. Hugs
  3. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    It is always sad to hear about sick kitties. My kitty is starting to show signs of kidney failure... well she was when the last blood test was taken. The best part about kitties is that there are plenty more of them to love. Why not go to a cat shelter and volunteer your time? I am sure they will let you love the kitties there. I do not know... I am cannot bring myself to knowingly cheat on my kitty with a bunch of other ones.

    So first piece of advice, stop stalking your ex. I had a roommate who did that. Trust me it gets creepy and annoying to get life updates, thanks to facebook, from someone who he is not hearing from. Plus it depresses you to hear about her success. So knock it off, you will feel much better. Having a constant reminder of failure is never a good thing.

    Second piece of advice, at least learn how to fake happiness. Your friends new mates likely have a social circle. That circle might contain other females. If your friends mates like you... well they might set you up with another single friend. However, if you look like a depressed desperate individual.. that will not happen.

    I am not sure what other advice I can give you to be honest. I know how hard it is to do some of these things. However, sometimes you have to change for the better.
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