When I was sitting in college in one of my classes, we were going over basic maths for refreshing purpose and everybody in the class was moaning at how easy it all was and that it was a waste of time. I sat there quietly dumbfounded (as I normally do) because I didn't know any of it. All theses formulars and numbers all over the place, I panic and just listen to how everyone was working out the questions with ease. I realised no matter how hard I work I am always going to fail at everything and be as dumb as I was as a kid. I just can't seem to change that, just the way I was born. I realised that stupid people like me (and I am not doubt in the minority) wont do well in life, make a difference, get a good job and had a good quality of life like everyone that I know. A lot of my classmates were younger than myself and it was awful to feel that stupid. But as I said before, I have always been way below average and I just can't understand why I can't be like everybody else. Genetics played me a rubbish hand for natural ability. I have had enough with the constant trying and faliures that follow now. Got to find a suitable day to get out of this shell of torture. I hate myself too much now.