My birthday was a normal day. I didn't really do anything different. Didn't sleep-- felt sore and tired all day; but not sleepy in the least. Mom took me to pick out a cake-- and I picked a very nice looking carrot cake from the local bakery. I was very tasty. I bought a shelf for my bedroom and put it together myself. I painted for a few minutes before giving up--- feeling that I needed more inspiration before I could finish the paintings I'd started. We watched 'Men who stare at goats' and 'Precious'; although I'd already seen both of them before they came out on DVD. We finished off the movies-- the house is pretty quiet and empty; mom was tired- so she went to bed. I went onto Facebook and found quite a few birthday wishes-- mostly from people whom I haven't seen in at least 4 years. I had the urge to check my ex's profile again... and for once, I didn't feel a whole lot from looking at his picture. My heart had always squeezed and raced whenever I saw his face. Tonight though... it stung a bit- but I didn't feel like crying. I guess it helped that his profile picture is kinda terrible... haha- messy hair- bloodshot eyes; a sight I rarely saw when we were together and he took care of himself. The attraction factor has finally come down a bit and it's relieving. I feel like I can fall out of love with him finally. Slowly... There's no reason, really... the lack of communication has helped, I guess. It was pretty much all him- cutting communication off though... There are times that I wish I could just spill my guts to him like I used to-- but I know that that time in my life is over. The only place I can spill my guts is here. My point, I suppose... is that I feel a bit hopeful tonight. Thanks, SF Thanks, J's bad profile photo on facebook- haha. And thanks, mom- for spending my birthday with me.