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it wasn't supposed to be like this

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by lymeinside, Jan 15, 2009.

  1. lymeinside

    lymeinside Well-Known Member

    I was a happy child and I couldn't wait to get older and now I want nothing except to be a child again and have a second chance. I am doomed to a horrible life and I want to die so badly.

    It wasn't supposed ot be this way. I don't know why this is happening to me. I am really not a bad person and I just don't understand it. Nothing good ever happens for me. I am so unhappy with my life but I cannot change. I eventually screw up everything. I can't see a future for me. I am extremely depressed and this is no way to live.
  2. mordelta

    mordelta Member

    I feel the same way. When I was a child, I was looking forward to life. Now, I realize my life is doomed, and I now look forward to dying.

    I'm not a bad person either. I try hard to respect people, yet people are mean to me.

    I don't understand life either. All I know is I'm cursed and so miserable all the time. I can't change things. This is a nightmare. I have no future. I screw up everything too, and nothing good ever happens to me. It's like I shouldn't have been born in the first place. I constantly suffer from extreme anxiety, depression, and frustration. I am in constant pain.

    Every time I wake up in the morning, I want to go back to sleep and not live. I like sleeping because it feels like death. Life is unbearable. This is absolutely no way to live.
  3. lymeinside

    lymeinside Well-Known Member

    yeah I know exactly how you feel. I hate self pity but this really is unbearable. i mentally feel extremely horrible all the time, my brain is just screaming out right now. I am so sick of this and I don't think I can do it anymore. I can't see any hope anymore and its not good. I am a weak, weak person.
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi Lymeside,

    I can totally relate to how you feel. I would give anything to be a kid again, with no pressures,worries or talk about the future.

    Unfortunately we all have to grow up sometime and life isn't easy, nothing is handed to us on a plate, but we can try and improve it.Always.

    Perhaps doing some volunteer work would make you feel better? samaritans,befrienders..etc..do you have friends? Do you work?Do you see a doctor about your depression.If you don't please do so. Also,therapy can help you raise your self esteem and confidence too,,dont give up.

    There is many options for you, so please keep fighting. We are all here to help you :hug:

  5. HappyAZaClaM

    HappyAZaClaM Guest

    I very much doubt you are a weak weak person as you said. and I
    don't know how old you are. but being a grownup most assuredly
    sucks. it really does. I hate it myself. this sounds like BS maybe,
    but it CAN be all in your head. by that I mean, you can, with a lot
    of really hard work (which also sucks) change the way you feel about not
    being a kid anymore. sound stupid? I know, sorry. but why not still
    think of yourself as a kid? who cares? who cares what other people
    think? literally. who F***IN cares what other people think about
    ANY thing ? do something fun for you. best I can come up with.
    *shrug* :blink: