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It will get better. FUCK YOU

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Bigman2232, Nov 2, 2012.

  1. Bigman2232

    Bigman2232 Well-Known Member

    This is what I've heard for the last 8 years. It will get better. Well fuck you, it definitely has not. In fact it has just continued to get worse.

    I'm depressed, but not because of some chemical imbalance. I'm depressed because my life fucking sucks. Anyone who experienced what I've experienced and faces what I face would be the same way.

    I've kept going because a small part of me wants to believe that it will get better, even though the majority knows that it's complete bullshit.

    I'm now almost 28 years old and I feel like a 13 year old. I can't get a job (couldn't even get a part time job at future shop).

    Going to University was the biggest mistake of my life. I got absolutely nothing from it except a huge debt which without a job I'm barely managing to pay back the minimum. I've been out of school for 3 years now and I'm worse off than when I was finishing high school.

    I have never had someone elses interest unless they were drunk. I have the nervousness of a 15 year old around women because I've done nothing.

    I have enough money for 1 more month of trying. After that, I have nothing.

    I'm frustrated with the fact that it doesn't matter what I am and am not capable of doing because I'm completely dependent on other people. I need someone to give me the break of a job.

    All of which is just compounded by the fact that I hate the human species and society in general. I don't like how the game works and I don't really want to be a part of it. I think about myself plenty and am quite capable of being selfish but I feel like even when I do things for myself, I always think of how it will impact others.

    Something I don't see from others often. And that's where I get the angriest. I don't do things because they are wrong and what do I have for following the rules. No money, no friends, no gf, no hope. Meanwhile people I know who break the rules over and over, have it all.

    It hurts the most when my mother snaps on me because I'm still living at home and am relying on her so much. She thinks I'm not trying and I know I;m making her life worse.

    I saw all of this coming 7 years ago and tried to make sure I wasn't around but like everything I do, I failed.
  2. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    Hello. Well I must agree your life does seem frustrating. I can agree that being selfless can seem to be a thankless task. Not many people do care enough to consider others by their actions. I have learned through my life that I can rely on prayer.
    There are so many questions in this life. There doesn't seem to be anyone with the answers, but the answers that people do come up with are hollow and not satisfying at all. Basically we are to believe that we are alive to work and build huge empires to make others rich while at the same time be treated and live as serfs. Um no thanks lol.
    Blessedly there are real answers to life's toughest questions, and many promises along with that. I will say though that I used to allow my heart to harden the way yours is right now, but in all honesty I didn't want to. Holding onto all that hate is like constantly drinking poison. It will eventually kill you and in the process destroy what happiness you could find. Life certainly won't change if we stay the same. I promise you that. Or if we do nothing to change. Not saying you haven't tried. I am sure you have. The best advice I can give is to do as I have done. I am being changed inside out and every right thing I do brings me great rewards. No good deed goes unrewarded. I promise you this.
  3. CosmikJack

    CosmikJack Member

    Life fucking sucks doesn't it, I totally agree with that. But can it be worse than death? I have personally attempted/failed, achieved. I'm here now, I don't want to be though. I have died 3 times, and those werent even attempts. But miraculously, I am typing what are my "truths." I do not know why we are here nor do I care. And as far as a purpose, I am my only purpose. I am also inclined to say I as well hate the human species, and don't even consider myself as one of them. I think that is what gets me by, knowing that I am the only one of my kind or atleast almost extinct. I don't have anything, own anything of great value, I live off of people but try to find my own. The society that we live in, the one we are forced to partake our lives in, is not where all of us our supposed to be. There are too many things that we have to do or ways we have to act to feel like we our remotely connected to the world. Have you evere thought about being in complete and utter solitude and what you would do? Would you try to find civilization or would you partake life by yourself and play the cards you are dealt? Myself, I love to be around them, but if I had total solitude from them, I would be happier, If I never had to see one of them again I could survive and would flourish way more than i am now, just remember its not you that is bringing them down, it is all of them bringing you down. I know that this probably mostly makes no sense at all and is scattered.
  4. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    Life doesn't have to as you say: suck. We all have a hand in how life can be for us through our attitudes and actions. I seperate myself from others by having a good attitude, genuine care, compassion, kindness, and love. I do this because this is who I choose to be and by doing so I hope to show people thhat it can be done and how I have come to learn this wonderful way of life. Sure some may claim that they do so already, but to have the self control to be and live this way takes a certain understanding. One in which we have to seek out and dedicate our lives to.

    No matter what you, I, and everyone else are all humans. We make human mistakes, but it is a wonderful thing to have the power to change. This wwe all have the ability to do. Blaming the world and saying its their fault isn't helping anyone least of all yourself. Choosing to be above these dark perceptions through love will positively affect those around you, and will help the aftermath of confusion and hate. Love covers all wrongs. Love heals all wounds. I have seen this, lived it, and know it to be true. What is love? Find that and you find the answer. Peace.
  5. CosmikJack

    CosmikJack Member

    Not everyone needs cheery, lovey, responses. Some of us are dark and cynical and love being like that. There is a ying and yang to everything in this world. There are two reasons why people stay alive on this earth despite what there actual feelings are;love, and hate. These feelings can be so strong in people that it affects there decisions in everything that they do through life. Some embrace the warmth of life and are adored by others but hate themselves so much they hurt and hurt until they cause themselves so much pain they cannot go on any longer. Others embrace the cold, hatred aspect of life and indulge in self mascohisting hurting themselves because they think nobody loves them, and so hatred grows so thick in the pits of there stomachs until they must be destructive to themselves until they are no more. I think we always have to remain on the same topic: what is truth?, what are these words I write and speak?, what am i?, and never who am I? There should never be any doubt in any bodies minds about who you are, you are simply you. If you are on this site for the same reasons as I, undoubtably you have attempted your life and ultimately whether you choose to be dark or light you can achieve love and happiness, because just remember this where hate does not bring true love, it is the reason why most of us living today(unless your a purebreed) are still here. Try to stay well balanced with hate and love, lest you be lost, because you need both to survive in this world.
  6. Moat

    Moat Banned Member

    Things can and do improve if you give yourself the chance to let them happen. If one simply sits and dwells on their problems without making any significant attempt to change what it is about their life they do not like (ex: anxiety of crowds) then the best way (even if a hard thing to do) is to push yourself into a situation where you have to confront your problems. It might not solve anything right away and leave you feeling worse after the first few times, but perserverence is an amazing thing on mental positivity.
    At least, it has with me in overcoming certain things that held me back for the longest of times.

    I wish you all the best, but do not be afraid to break out of the normality you have set for yourself; a prison is only as strong as what you make of it for yourself.
  7. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    There is evil, darkness, and hate in this world. I agree. There isn't a natural balance of it by your definition. Meaning one cannot possibly exist without the other or one needs the other. The light doesn't need the dark. This world is dark and needs the light that has come, and that survives in those like myself who have found it. This is my point. Light has come into this dark and depressing world. If you want it you can find it, be engulfed by it, live it, and be saved by it. HalleluYah.
  8. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    Everyone who loves the dark will stay in it. You do not need hate to survive in this world. On the contrary you need love, understanding, compassion, and forgiveness. Hatred will only kill you through and through. And it will keep you miserable until the very end. Life can be so much more than that. Its up to the individual to decide.
  9. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    I agree with this 100%. Life really is what you make of it, in this respect. You can choose to be on the side of dark, or you can aspire to be in the light. Doing good things does not always come with reward, but doing good should not have to be rewarded. One should do good simply because it is the right thing to do. Even if it costs everything, in the end right is right and there really should not be any other choice.
  10. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    When I do what is right and good I am always rewarded, but I do what is right and good for the one I love, adore, and worship. He just so happens to promise rewards and showers them on me when I do. :) I am blessed through and through!

    Also we have a choice and it means more when we choose to do right.
  11. wallflower

    wallflower Well-Known Member

    I learned not to say things like that, because no one can fully comprehend a person's pain. I do not mind when people say it to me, but when i was in the deepest of depths it made me want to scream, and i thought to myself...hey i've been such an asshole telling people to cheer up as if i was helping them when i was only helping myself...hoping that it helped them...being realistic is better than being an asshole, and like...not everyones life gets better or needs to be reduced to a hallmark greeting card. if someone i loved was in this situation right now, i'd still do everything i could to reach them even if it meant reduced speech because i was too scared to say something intense. like how much i'd die if they left me. it scares me...and i am not the best to help but i've tried and been successful but also failed to help people...well i never knew anyone do it that i talked to...one day i had this urge to reach out to someone only to find right after i sent him this message he had committed suicide a couple days prior to my message...and that made me feel sad because if only he had read my message beforehand, that's God's business and yet something tells me the more people you help the more people are helped.
  12. HannahMourning

    HannahMourning New Member

    I hear you dude. Everyone says take the medicine and it will get better. Fuck that. It's always the doctors and people who aren't depressed telling me that. It hasn't made a difference. I still cry. Crying doesn't do shit, but I can't help it. I'm not here to give you sympathy, but to let you know you're definitely not alone. I hope you can find something or someone that will make your life better. I've learned not to take life so seriously. Do what the fuck makes you happy. Smoke weed. Fuck people who don't understand you, that's one less person to worry about. I know you probly won't even read my post. But that's okay, anyone who does see this... Come to me if you need a friend or something. If you need to tell someone your problems, I'm a great listener. And I have good advice. Maybe the weed thing wasn't the best advice ... But whatever. It works for some people. Get at me fellow depressed ones. I'll let you in on my secrets of making it better. Or numbing it until you find the solution.