It will never stop will it?

I just got home from the counselor and it all went well. Why then do I feel so lousy. I am in even more pain than ever before in my life. I want to end it all right now. I don't even know who I am anymore. I am hurting so bad it is an unbelivable pain inside me. Help me. Tell me it is going to be ok. Everyday is a battle and I can't do this anymore. I am just one of the many that want to end life. Want the pain to go away forever. I am crying inside more than I want to admit. I WANT IT TO BE OVER FOR GOOD. My mind is so messed up. I can't remember a time I was happy anymore, a time before depression.

 

Do you believe that it can get better?
If you want to get better you need to see some ray of light, even hope can be enough. But the longer depression goes on for, the harder it is to see the way out.

Tell us more about the feeling you got when you left the counselor. And what did you talk about to them?
One more question, do you like change in your life or does it scare the hell out of you like me?
You might find your getting sadder because you know something has to change and you arent sure if you want it to. The counselor might be helping you get better but also making it clear that the future is unknown.
But that's just a thought.

 

It is going to be ok! :hug:

Sorry that I left so early last night, but I was to tired to be any help.
If you need someone to talk to or just need a hug, I here for you. :hug:

 

Black, can I ask, did something come out at the counsellor visit? You know what I mean a sudden memory or realisation?

I remember when I was in therapy actually flipping right out of myself because something was struggling to the surface. Once it did surface and I faced it I snapped back into myself and felt better, but for a while there I was almost catatonic.

 

I am not sure devastated. I am trying to figure out why this feeling came over me. It is bothering me and I want to know why. But only I can find the answer to that.

 

Just remember to tell your counsellor at your next visit, they might be able to help you get to the bottom of it.

 

My counselor and I agreed I was good. He said there is no reason to return for a visit. He always seemed rather harsh. It was difficult to talk with him. He would put words in my mouth and when I wanted to say something he would think I was contradictoring myself.

 

is it making you good to write what you feel?

 

Bf It is a common feeling apparently to feel down later on after seeing your counsslor,Therapist,Dr etc.My Psychiatrist told me once the same thing as I explained to him the exact the feeling as you've mentioned,I can't really recall what he said exactly but he said it's a common thing to happen.The fact is that just after you had your visit with your counselor you were fresh with idea's perhap's of starting afreash etc.
Naturally later on your mood's change without you being able to stop them because we know we can't just switch them off like that.So what happen's is that we become so annoyed and frustrated to why our mood's have changed so dramatically.We then associated let down,failure,dissapointment and all the negative feeling's with this.

 

It will get better blackfire. The feelings will pass. You can get through this, I know you can. You're so strong. Remember that. I'm here if you need me.