I am tired of being ignored. I am tired of being nothing. I should be used to this by now but for some reason I'm not. I've learned there is a double standard: there's how everyone is treated, then there's me to be ignored or taken advantage of. Everyone seems to know or sense this, but me, who for some reason expects diffrent at each encounter or new experience or new place. There's me who is gulible and desperate enough to believe that people mean what they say, and they never do. I don't think I ask for much anyways, but I dont even deserve that. I'm just trash, all of my effort means nothing, so just ignore me and leave me in total silence so I go mad. Who cares, its not like I have any place or importance?! It not like I actually have feelings (and I shouldn't), it's not like I'm not totally alone, its not like I am human and deserve any treatment along those lines, its not like anyone cares if I was dead tomorrow. No, just abandon me, leave me to silence, I'm already crazy, who want to deal with something like me? Who cares it's not like I deserve any better, experience tells me otherwise, doesn't matter what I think or feel of everyone tells me different, anything otherwise then you're delusional. Just don't ever say anything, just don't ever expect anything diffrent, just don't have any expectation of believe something good can come, then you will be just fine. Just one less wasteful person, one less complainer, one less responsibility, one less person to deal with. Why not I don't really exist anyways?