I'ts a CRISIS to me!

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by DariaJane, Feb 21, 2013.

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  1. DariaJane

    DariaJane Active Member

    So the hospital will not admit me unless I am suicidal. I am about to be homicidal soon! I am struggling so hard with anxiety, not being on the right antidepressants. Only suggestion I was given was to go to the emergency room. An ER doctor is NOT going to change my antidepressant, meanwhile I am about to go into a rage soon if I cannot get some help. They also suggested my family doctor, she is a joke. She prescribed a heart medicine for my blood pressure which caused me to have a false positive blood test for a heart attack, plus all the symptoms. I ended up in the hospital for a week and had to have a heart catherization which is dangerous if not necessary. I was freaking out. She has done many other wrong things, like just took me off my hormone pills which put me through hell. So she is out! I have an appointment with a new doctor for general purposes on April 18th. Psych doctor at the damn mental health center on March 7th, so meanwhile I can just suffer? This stinks to high heaven. The hospital does not have any beds available today, but still I do not meet criteria for admission to the hospital. The ER is like a drunk tank, with yelling and police fighting the patients. I cannot deal with that. I feel totally shit on by the whole system, left to my own devices. Not really a great idea for someone with severe depression and borderline personality disorder that can flip at any moment. I don't know what to do but just be angry and keep bitching.

    I need help. Any ideas?
  2. Cpt-Fantastic

    Cpt-Fantastic Banned Member

    call a friend and watch a movie or distract yourself with something you enjoy
  3. DariaJane

    DariaJane Active Member

    That's not helping.
  4. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    Honestly(?) - turn to something you may not have thought of doing before - prayer. I know, you need faith and all of that, and right now you may not have any, but that actually doesn't matter to start off with - just a "Help God!" will suffice, and then try to trust that you actually said it, and meant it, and allow it to heal you just a little. The healing comes from outside, you don't have to try to do it yourself, but if you find your 'insides' feel a little - even miniscule amount - different, go with it hun, don't fight it ! :)

    And, if you don't want to do any of that, just ignore what I've written - it's not compulsory :)
  5. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    If you go to the ER, wouldnt they find you a psychiatrist to see? Or someone to do a psych evaluation who could say you need to be on a different med?
  6. DariaJane

    DariaJane Active Member

    Thanks Precious,

    I am a Christian and I do have a little faith still, but for some reason have not thought of praying. I am sad because I have been abandoned, literally and so I think God has abandoned me too. I feel nothing when I pray and have difficulty understanding why some people seem to have it all and I feel like I have nothing and no future. Nothing to live for. I don't feel there is any reason to go on, but I just don't think I have the right to try to take my own life, as miserable as it is. I guess it is my fault. I know I could do better, if I had the ambition or care to do it. I have had too much hurt, betrayal and the worse is feeling abandoned by all my friends and most of my family. I do need to pray. Thanks for reminding me.
  7. DariaJane

    DariaJane Active Member

    If I go to the ER, it is my best shot at getting in the behaviorial unit. I just do not want to lie and say I am suicidal, people have told me that is the only way to get in. An ER doctor is not going to change my medication. I really don't want to be an inpatient, but it seems like the only way to get any help at all. A psychiatrist might see me, but having thoughts of hurting myself should be enough to get some help I would think!!!
  8. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    so if you are christian, is there a christian minister you can go to for support and help? I can understand why you would not think to pray now. Because when we are feeling this bad we automatically feel less connected. Its easy to feel connected when we are feeling okay. Maybe you can ask to talk to a pastor at the hospital???

    You say you do not want to lie and say you are suicidal. I can understand that. How DOES that idea sound about seeing if you can talk to a pastor at the hospital? Or your local christian pastor or minister? I do not know much about religions. but that might be worth a try.
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