its a cruel world, full of cruel people

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by shandy11, Nov 13, 2010.

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  1. shandy11

    shandy11 Member

    been thinking about it for a couple of weeks, but how? would my son ever forgive me? i doubt it, but its what i want, nothing left here for me, dont think im strong enough to get through this...
     
  2. Surely Not

    Surely Not Well-Known Member

    your son is still here for you. :( how old is he? how old are you? how long have you been going through this? :(
     
  3. shandy11

    shandy11 Member

    hes 19, im 42, sorry just cant take anymore
     
  4. Iron Pigeon

    Iron Pigeon Member

    What did you even do to think your son doesn't want to talk to you?
     
  5. shandy11

    shandy11 Member

    my son is the only reason im here at the moment, but i hape he will understand, im guna send him a letter explaining why
     
  6. CatherineC

    CatherineC Staff Alumni

    And then you're going to screw him up for the rest of his life. I'm sorry to be so harsh but that's the truth of the situation. He'll spend every single day of his life wondering if he could have stopped you. It will affect every relationship he has, it will affect his working life, it will affect his whole future.
    Even if he does manage to have a relationship and have children, he's going to have to explain to them why they don't have a grandmother. Then they'll wonder for the rest of their lives.
    Don't do this. You chose to have him and now you've got to stick with that decision, no matter how hard it gets.
    Instead of taking this action, take action to get better. xxx
     
  7. shandy11

    shandy11 Member

    grandfather! i know its selfish and they say its the cowards way out, but i cant face christmas on my own, my parents died 15 years ago and i dont think iv ever grieved properly or accepted it or even spoken to anyone about it in depth, everything is just boiling up, sorry
     
  8. shandy11

    shandy11 Member

    i believe in the afterlife, i believe that a lot of people dont deserve the life that they are living, theres got to be something better than this surely? for the people whos been put in homes, been abused, had a shit upbringing or are just fucked off with this life! iv set my date and i hope my son will forgive me
     
  9. plshelpme

    plshelpme Well-Known Member

    hang in there
    talk to someone! talk to us!
    go to therapy and grieve over your parents...
    do it for your son's sake...

    19 is very young to lose a parent...he will feel lost without you...i know i would feel lost without either or my parents, and i'm almost 23...
     
  10. shandy11

    shandy11 Member

    i just wish i had a phone number for someone i could tlk to about this, to talk to someone whos going through what im going through before its to late
     
  11. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

  12. shandy11

    shandy11 Member

    2Re: its a cruel world, full of cruel people

    can someone phone XXXXXXX
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 13, 2010
  13. loopy

    loopy Well-Known Member

    Hi Shandy,

    Hope you are still around *Big Hug*
    Really sorry I cant ring you but I have socail anxiety and a major phone phobia. If you have msn you are very very welcome to come talk to me there. I dont know if ill be any use but I am a good listener.

    I planned my suicide recently but couldnt go through with it cos I really didnt want to pass my mental health onto my children and I know no matter how much I try to justify it to them by letter they will always have doubts in their mind if it was anything to do with them.

    Sometimes it feels unbearable I know and makes you numb to those things. I hope you dont do it and we see you back on here soon. For both your son's sake and yours xxx

    (My msn is on my profile)
     
  14. CatherineC

    CatherineC Staff Alumni

    Shandy, you shouldn't be putting your phone number on public website, it's not safe. Can you go back and edit it out.
    If no one has phoned you then I want you to phone the Samaritans, the number is
    08457 90 90 90.
    and the web link is
    http://www.samaritans.org

    It may be very difficult for people on this site to phone you directly. I can't phone you because I'd disturb my family for example. Please phone the Samaritans, they can help.
    xxx
     
  15. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    there are indeed lots of cruel people in the world. but there are also lots of very nice people in the world!

    why not stay and tell us about what is going on?
     
  16. Ziva

    Ziva Well-Known Member

    Agreed. I can't take this anymore, I have been bullied all my life and I know I'm only twenty years old but whoever said life is too short is full of shit. I got other things going on too that has pushed me to suicide, but I can't list them right now.
     
  17. shandy11

    shandy11 Member

    still havnt got that number i need, help
     
  18. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    call samaritans 08457 90 90 90. they will be happy to talk to you. i've used them before. they are very kind.
     
  19. lifeispeachie

    lifeispeachie Account Closed

    There are plenty of people to talk to about stuff like this and drugs that can artificially lift your mood , life. Is a bitch we all know it is but suicide is not a cowards way out that's rubbish but you have a son and if he doesn't have anyone else he will be detrimental affected if you do it , take out life insurance that covers suicide just in case you do it , I think you have enough to live for all the best
     
  20. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member


    if you go to www.befrienders.org they have links to lots of different help lines in lots of countries

    can you spend Christmas with your son?
     
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