It's a living hell

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by afraidoflife, Feb 3, 2014.

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  1. afraidoflife

    afraidoflife Active Member

    I find myself in quite a trouble. I have had Paranoid schizophrenia for 10 years. I'm partially Medicated, but still troubled. The anxiety is driving me mad. And I have problems sleeping. I have developed a strong hate against the police, because I think they are placing curses on me, and surveillancing me 24/7. I honestly don't know my own state anymore mentally. I have trouble expressing myself. I pray now all day long, but to no help. God must really hate me. The future is dark and shallow. I live because of my family, but my troubles are draining them. I'm afraid I will go to prison because of the paranoia, I pray to God I don't do anything stupid.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi hun i am so sorry you are feeling so afraid right now. I do understand really i have siblings as well as a daughter with your illness and it is hard when the medication is not working properly. Please h un talk to your doctor ok tell you doc you need your medication changed a bit let doc know you are having these thoughts and you need help ok hugs
  3. mark b

    mark b Well-Known Member

    Agree with getting meds reviewed.

    Are you actually in trouble with police or just as you having this impression due to your illness?

    If you are subject to their attention from time to time, perhaps due to your actions that possibly you dont realize, make sure you have some official documents relating to your meds and condition so that any officer can see this. They will then have clearer idea on how to deal with any situation you might get into. Proper id helps too. They will then have an easier computer check which will also help them anx you.

    If you are on any licience or probation, make sure you have a support worker that is aware of your concerns.

    If not, has the doctor offered any additional support from themselves or an external agency or charity maybe?
  4. afraidoflife

    afraidoflife Active Member

    Yes I am in trouble with the police because of some Cannabis use the past year. They have a case against me. It's possible I have to go to court. I don't do drugs now. I got a call today from psychiatric, and they told me that the psychiatric nurse, my contact, is ill and away for 3 weeks. Doesn’t make the situation better.
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