it's a short book but worth it

Discussion in 'Positive Feelings and Motivational Messages' started by Insignificant, Oct 31, 2006.

  1. Insignificant

    Insignificant Account Closed

    Wow, where to begin here. I'm gonna give this a shot.

    For those of you that don't know last year i had a baby and his name is Brayden. Given my circumstances i was in a position where i was unable to take care of him. This literally broke my heart. I knew i was going to have to give him up. i realized however that i just couldn't let him go and never know what happened to him and how he was so i chose to do an open adoption. i wasn't sure what to expect from all of this, but the ultimate hope was to still be a part of his life even if that meant just a couple of times a year. so i began the procedure. Of course i knew the potential parents would have to be willing to work with the potential health issues and such, but what was most important to me was that they would be willing to listen and talk with the boy as it related to being adopted. i have always felt it was important for a child to be able to discuss this.

    I was introduced to a couple with the names of marty and karen. they were super right off the bat. very upbeat and encouraging people who really listened, but not only that but were so open and willing to work with the potential mental health issues that could have been passed on to the baby by me. Besides their kindness and willingness in health issues i learned that karen herself was also adopted so i knew she knew how it felt and would be willing to discuss this with him. Given what i knew and how i felt instinctively about the potential parents i decided that i would like for marty and karen to raise who is now known as Brayden.

    He is a year and a half old now and he has a totally wonderful and supportive enviroment. They have had him out doing all sorts of things including even camping. heck i haven't even done that yet. he is a very happy baby to say the least. and marty and karen have been so wonderful to me and my children. i have been able to see him as much as every week.they even came to the hospital (psych) when i was in there a few times to visit. this is way more than i ever could have expected. my children have gotten to know their little brother as he has known them. it has been wonderful.

    marty and karen decided when brayden was about 14 months old that they were ready to try to adopt another child. we were so excited for them and brayden. we have kept our fingers crossed for them. anyways, shortly after they turned in their book there was a couple who wanted to meet them. so i watched mr brayden while they went to meet the couple. they learned that nite the couple knew the baby was going to be a girl. a little while later it was known that marty and karen were going to be this little girls new parents. so they began to get ready. they were so excited about this as were we for them. the baby was due nov 6th and arrived two weeks ago. when the little girl was born the birth parents then changed their minds and wanted to keep the baby. this was very hard on marty and karen and understandably so. it is possible for these things to happen when chosing to go the adoption route but it doesn't change the fact that the disappointment is hard.

    i was sharing this with a lady i know recently and she made a suggestion to me. she suggested that maybe i could carry thier child for them. in other words be a serrogate mother. granted there were some difficulties in my pregnancy with brayden. he was born a month early because my kidneys were shutting down and my blood pressure was thru the roof despite being on two meds for it so they had to induce. never the less he came out a very healthy baby. i have considered this and feel this is something that can be worked with under good care.

    considering every aspect that i could possibly think of i have come to the decision that i would like to ask karen and marty if they would like for me to be a serogate mother for them. i honestly believe this would be good for everyone. after all marty, karen, and brayden deserve to have a little addition to their happy family. as i said before marty and karen have been absolutely fantastic. i trust them completely (which is no easy task with me), and i have a world of respect for them. i am willing for them to be a part of the entire process as well which the couple who backed out were not willing to do. i let them be a part of everything, as long as it had nothing to do with seeing the old private parts, when i was pregnant with brayden. i believe that this is part of becoming a parent. it is the process why deprive them of that?

    so i have considered and i have decided to ask them. today is the big day. i am going over to their house at two o clock and going to sit down and have the talk. mr brayden will be napping then so it will give us some quiet time to discuss this. i simply want to provide them with the opportunity to experience as much as possible everything about having a baby. i don't want anything in return. i will ask that they help with expenses should i go on bed rest which i am pretty sure i will, but that's all. it's not about money to me. it's about creating a family. someone else to share their love with. i like to help people any way i can whether online or in life and i guess i just feel this is a way that i can return the favor if u will, in their taking great care of brayden. anyways, i am going to go now. i am really excited to see how this turns out. if they say no that is ok too. i just feel better knowing i have offered this opportunity to them, but between u and me i think they'll do it. i will keep u updated. take care of yourself and each other
     
  2. Wonderstuff

    Wonderstuff Staff Alumni

    Oh, hun...that is amazing!! :biggrin: :hug:
    To go through so much and want to do this...you are a wonderful person!
    I hope they said yes :biggrin:
    Looking forward to an update!! :hug:
     
  3. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    I am happy that you decided to help those souls have another child it's very caring and I am proud of you, and glad you are doing better. but you know all this I think I let you know today on the phone. :hug:




    Take Care sweetie :hug:
     
  4. Insignificant

    Insignificant Account Closed

    well, i just got back from their house, and wow you know u practice saying something a hundred times because you want it to be just right but i confessed i knew it wasn't going to happen. in fact so i can say everything i want to i'm going to ask for their email address so i can get it said. despite all that i feel like it went pretty well. they were obviously touched by the offer. when i finished the offer they each gave me a hug. they did express their concern about my health when pregnant but i assurred them that i felt it could be managed with care. i again expressed my condolences as far as not being able to adopt the baby, and i let them know it would be cool for them to get the entire experience. i also assurred them that should they say no it will be ok. i just wanted to extend the offer to them. i wanted to extend the opportunity of them to have their own child, and just how important family is to me.

    overall i did get some of what i wanted to share across but i feel like there is so much more to say. then again i guess the offer alone speaks for it's self.
    they told me they will think about this. which i expected nothing less. i am feeling good about having extended the offer. to know that i could be a part of something so special would be an honor and a privalege. i wouldn't do this for anyone else, but who they are and the example they are is humbling. they are so simple. you can see their family values. i just couldn't feel like there would be anyone better to do this for.

    i do anticipate this. that should they decide to say no i believe it will only be on the grounds of concern for my health. because as i said now that i am older being pregnant is a bit harder on my body. i can accept that like i said it is ok for them to say no. my feeling like a couple of other people i know is that it is very likely that they will say yes though. i told them should they say yes i would get off of my meds and everything else. and of course there would be alot of details to work out, but i believe that is easily done.

    anyways i will let you go. that is where this is right now. i don't know how long before i expect a reply or whatever but as the event unfolds i will continue to update. please take care of yourselves and each other.
     
  5. Hazel

    Hazel SF & Antiquitie's Friend Staff Alumni

    Wow, amazing!!! What a wonderful gift to offer this couple..
    whatever their decission, you are amazing to have made the offer.

    :hug: Hazel x
     
  6. theleastofthese

    theleastofthese SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Oh, my, what a wonderful gift you've offered them!!!:smile: :smile: I'm proud of you and happy for you, and for them, should they take you up on your kind and generous offer. You have a good heart, my friend, and it's in the right place for sure!:wink:

    There's a saying I read somewhere that goes: "love doesn't make the world go round, it's what makes the ride worthwhile." You're making the ride worthwhile!:smile: :smile:

    much love and hope,

    least
     
  7. kindtosnails

    kindtosnails Staff Alumni

    thats so amazing and such a wonderful thing to offer. :smile:
     
  8. Highlander

    Highlander Member

    Go for it Liz
    Love the Campbell the Highlander
     
  9. Insignificant

    Insignificant Account Closed

    well, here is the latest as well as last update. marty and karen both decided to continue down the adoption route which is a good thing. no regrets here. i am glad i made the offer. they did assure me though had they chose to go down that route without even a second thought they would have chosen me to do it and they were thankful for the gesture. so there the story ends. u never know where life will lead ya.