It's all bollocks

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Homesickalien, Feb 26, 2009.

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  1. Homesickalien

    Homesickalien Member

    I don't deserve to even be here. Just had a brutal reminder of how much of a downer I put on eveyone, I already knew ths, but it has just been painfully spelt out to me by an old friend who's quote ' doesn't know what to say to you any more, you just give a horrible feeling out to everyone'.
    Not only can I not keep a job, a bloke or even a fake smile but I make my mother cry as she is that disapinted in me,a my friends feelike shit.
    Why the hell I am getting upset I have no idea, because beneath the tears I'm dead inside. And have no idea what I'm going to do, and how much longer I can put off acting on my morbid thoughts to put an end to the vicious cycle of hurt I cause people once and for all
     
  2. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    That's right you dont. You dont deserve to be in a place within yourself where dark thoughts and demons are torturing you. But as for being at SF, you are exactly where you should be. Most people that give you remarks like that are just at a point of frustration. They dont know how to help you or worse they are afraid that if they dont help you properly with their advice and something happens then they will have that guilt to deal with. The others ones well, they arent worth worrying about. Those arent real friends. You feel dead inside, but posting about your feelings shows you arent quite ready to lay down and give it all up. So please keep posting and let others help you through the darkness. Keep reaching out here. People here dont want to let you give up and unlike your friend, they understand how you feel, really understand. So they can keep offering help without feeling frustrated hun. Take a chance and see if with help you cant tuck those morbid thoughts back into the box they came from for atleast a little while?
     
  3. justafool

    justafool Well-Known Member

    Many people here, including me, are in the same place. I know what my ultimate fate is, which is to die by my own hand. But I know that it won't happen today. So, just for today, I am alive.

    There is no point in rushing away from this world, so don't be in a hurry about it. Look around you and try to see everything in your life as clearly as you possibly can. That is really the primary responsibility that you have to yourself - to see clearly and to understand as much as you can.
     
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