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its all come around again...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by taranama, Dec 10, 2007.

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  1. taranama

    taranama Well-Known Member

    why do people have such an effect one me...so much that i'm constantly cutting myself when i'm alone, like now, and when i'm around certain people i'm the happiest, most lovely helpful and polite (it was on a school report once..) person you've ever met? to be honest there's only one person who i can relate to and his name is joe. joe is my best friend and my confidant, he's also 7 years older than me and i believe my soul-mate.. we had a bit of a *thing* a few weeks back and decided that it wasn't right for him, because he's not in a place in his life where a relationship would work........yada..yada...bla...bla... i quite listening when i heard "i don't regret what happened but......" obviously, since i'm only 20, he's so much more.....mature and mentally solid than me. thats why i need him so much. what does he get from me? nothing. why am i such a horrid person? why does no one love me back? is it a defect or something that i have? please someone tell me... i try to do everything i can for joe....like last night i was at his house until midnight, which is the norm..and when i turned to leave, he asked me to iron his shirt..i felt so happy that he would entrust me with that, so i was there until after 1 in the morning ironin...while joe and his friend mick watched a dvd... please can some one tell me i'm a fool??
  2. wonderer

    wonderer Well-Known Member

    Yeah, it sucks when people you care about don't love you back.
    I guess just try and keep in mind that, even in the best of situations, relationships between people that far apart age-wise are hard to pull off. There's just too much of a gap in life experience, especially at our age. Its no one's fault, its just a really hard thing to make work.
    Anyhow, I hope you find someone you can connect to and love who will love you back and treat you amazingly. You deserve that.
    Best wishes.
  3. taranama

    taranama Well-Known Member

    thanks......at the moment tho, i don't feel like thats ever going to happen...but its nice to think someone thinks it will :unsure:

    sorry about going on but i thought that we did connect and that it would go somewhere...people my own age are just ridiculously.......i can't even think of a word to describe them appropriately... so i'm just gonna say stoopid ;)

    thanks again for your kinds words..*love*

  4. down_and_low

    down_and_low Active Member

    I know what you mean. I'm 20, and have always and will always be single. I'm not sure why.. I always treat people well, and whenever i like someone, they never feel the same.
    7 years is quite an age gap at our age, but it's great you are still good friends with him! And it's also great that he can make you feel so happy by simply asking you to iron a shirt :) Having someone in your life that can make you feel that happy is a real blessing!
    You'll definately find someone, don't worry! But in the meantime enjoy having such a great friendship with him :)
  5. taranama

    taranama Well-Known Member

    thanks for your kind words...it means a lot to me :smile:
    its weird....but when we're together on our own, its like we are going out or what ever...AAHHH!!! confused mucho...

    but thanks again
  6. vbuk

    vbuk Staff Alumni

    im so glad you have such a good friend hunny. hold onto that. a friendship can be so much stronger than a relationship. just be really careful hunny.

    Hugs love and kisses

    Clare xxx
  7. SoulRiser

    SoulRiser Well-Known Member

    Just 'cause he's 7 years older doesn't say anything about his maturity level or intelligence or even experience. I've known people 20 years older than me that throw tantrums like they're 3 years old, and I know people 10 years younger than me who talk like philosophers.

    It sucks that you think people your age are stoopid. It's not the age necessarily, just that you haven't found any intelligent ones YET.

    But it's good that you have a close friend though :)
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