I feel it now. It's hit hard. I thought I was moving on. It took half a year to slowly be okay with it. Many nights balling my eyes out, not feeling as if I could even keep myself alive. I thought I could accept it. But I can't, and I never will. It will never stop. I can't live with this. I feel it all again so badly. It's never going to leave me alone. I'll never be okay.